So like a lot of people, I got raptured this week. Actually, to be honest with you, I didn’t get raptured so much as I grabbed onto the leg of someone I saw getting raptured. Man, that was a long trip up, especially with all of the kicking that guy did. I was pretty banged … Continue reading
I will never forget the time that I fell off of the Grand Canyon. First of all, that morning the coffeemaker malfunctioned and splattered coffee all over my brand new shirt. Second, on my way to the Grand Canyon, my tire blew out. And finally, when I did get to the park, prices had gone up … Continue reading
The weary traveller had seen many things in his long, long journey but none compared to the sight of that cabin on the hill with an inviting plume of smoke coming from it’s stone chimney. As the traveller approached the front door, he was greeted by an old soul, the owner of the cabin. “Folks call … Continue reading
The U.S. Postal service today is admitting an embarrassing error. In its Liberty series, instead of depicting the real Statue of Liberty, the stamp depicts a Las Vegas replica. Here are 8 clues that allowed the experts to finally recognize their mistake: – The real Statue of Liberty’s tablet does not read ‘Viva Las Vegas’ … Continue reading
When I booked a trip to Italy, my wife had one demand: Under no circumstances are you to develop an Italian catch phrase. And I can assure you, after my experience in Puerto Rico, I had no intention of doing so. In fact, we planned our trip only three weeks in advance, so I was … Continue reading
The first thing I was told upon my arrival to Puerto Rico was that I must try the cuisine. “Land the plane please!” I shouted up to the cockpit. One of my pet peeves is when pilots tell me what to do, because, trust me, they’re the last ones to take advice when you approach … Continue reading
A man onboard a flight from Iceland to New York snapped the above photo. Apparently, the flight crew had to restrain this passenger to his seat with duct tape and zip ties, after he got really drunk and started attacking female passengers and screaming that the plane was going to crash. At first, I thought … Continue reading
I knew the bright lights city of Las Vegas would set my soul on fire, but I never knew it would set my pants on fire as well, which it did.
Me: Hey, pack some workout clothes for Puerto Rico Karen: Good idea. Are we running there? Me: No, we’re taking a plane.
I stumbled forward in the hot sand. Each step further scorched my feet. The sun beat down upon my face like a hammer. My mouth was dry, my lips were parched. I collapsed to the ground. I knew this would be my last day in the desert. Suddenly, a cool soothing relief came over me. … Continue reading