This tag is associated with 37 posts

Diary Of A Mad Ex-President

Dear Diary, First, I wanna clear somethin’ up.  I’m gonna call you ‘Di’ from now on.  That’s gonna save a lot of people a lot of time.  It’s gonna save me time writin’ and it’s gonna save our readers time because they won’t have to be readin’ extra letters and tryin’ to anticipate what the … Continue reading

A Giant June Bug Wants Me Dead

I had one of the strangest experiences last night.  I woke up and I found lying next to me, not my wife, but a giant June bug. At first I started panicking and hyperventilating.  I noticed that this made the June bug start to stir in his sleep. It fluttered its wings ever so gently … Continue reading

8 Signs The Moon Is Super

Over the weekend, a so-called ‘Super Moon’ lit up the night skies around the world. If you’re like me, you’ve been unable to sleep, due to the blinding moon beams blazing through your window. However, a lot of people didn’t notice any difference between the ‘Super Moon’ and a regular moon. Here are 8 signs … Continue reading

Childhood Memories, Are They Even Real?

Have you ever noticed that the memories from when you were younger seem to be in black and white? One memory in particular that I have is of my next door neighbor, Ted Cleaver.  We used to call him “Beaver” because when he was a kid he was attacked by a Beaver. We used to play … Continue reading

Life Is One Big Game

I’m not sure how many of you know what I do for a living, but I can tell you that it involves taking people to jail. Last night, I was burning the midnight oil when a call came in.  There was  someone strutting around naked downtown.  The suspect was described as a black and white, mustachioed male … Continue reading

9 Signs Your Cow Is Mad

America’s first case of Mad Cow disease in almost six years was discovered this week in California.  The finding has prompted many people to ask ‘is my cow mad too?’ Here are 9 signs she might be: 9. She didn’t wish you a happy birthday on your Facebook page. 8. Instead of saying ‘moo’ when you walk by, … Continue reading

Transformers 4 – Problems With The First Draft Of The Script

One of Hollywoods biggest franchises, The Transformers, may be in for yet another sequel. We managed to get our hands on a copy of the first draft of the script.  However, after reading notes made by studio executives, there is much doubt if this film will ever get made: Robert, loved the script!  It’s bound … Continue reading

The Road That Hasn’t Been Traveled Any More Or Any Less Than The Other One.

Sometimes I like to close my eyes and daydream that I am on a sandy beach with a warm breeze a’blowin.  Unfortunately that is when I wake up and find my room filled with sand and I have cuddled up with the hair dryer again. It was during one of these instances that I realized … Continue reading

That’s What She (Actually) Said Redux

Earlier this year we conducted one of our very scientific surveys related to the statement that everyone in the world says every single day – That’s what she said. We visited our local Cracker Barrel to get the lowdown on one question… “What does she actually say?” It was brought to our attention after we … Continue reading

7 Ways To Outsmart A Tornado

It’s Severe Weather Awareness week and with the threat of tornadoes upon us, I feel it important to remind you of some important safety tips. Last year around this time, I brought you some crucial information on Tornado Safety. Unfortunately, none of you listened and most of you were killed by tornadoes. Therefore, I’ve compiled … Continue reading

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