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Pets

This tag is associated with 12 posts

How My Pet Monkey Ruined New Years

As the new year approaches, I cannot help but think of a fateful New Year’s Eve past, spent by the fireplace with my pet monkey, Chip Dip.  For the longest time, we just sat quietly in our respective arm chairs, he in his smoking jacket and I in my robe, privately reflecting on the past, present and future, … Continue reading

The Day My Pet Monkey Screwed Me Over

I went down to the basement this morning to do a load of laundry, only to find my clothes fresh, clean and neatly folded in a basket near the dryer. Confused, I looked up to see my pet monkey, Chip Dip. The monkey had done the load for me. I was excited about not having … Continue reading

The Time My Pet Monkey Ruined My Super Bowl Party

This past Sunday, my wife allowed me to host a Super Bowl Party with the guys.  Things were going great, until suddenly the cable signal went out. The guys all started growing anxious and didn’t seem interested in my suggestion that we pass the time by watching some of the ‘Project Runways’ my wife had … Continue reading

The Time My Pet Monkey Ruined My Dinner Party

This past weekend, I organized a very stressful event.  I was hosting a formal dinner and had invited my boss, my priest, my old college dean, my old Army captain, my old Navy captain, the CEO of Old Navy, My old football coach, my mother-in-law, the mayor of our town and the people at WordPress who decide … Continue reading

My Wife’s Cat’s Idea Of An April Fools Joke

I had fallen asleep in bed the night before April 1st while petting the cat as she was curled up beside me. I was awakened in the morning by a barrage of meowing. I wiped the sleep from my eyes, got out of bed and started for the bathroom. As I neared the bedroom door … Continue reading

The Time My Pet Monkey Ruined Christmas Eve

Some years ago, a girl I was dating had asked for a very popular and hard to come by pair of jeans for Christmas.  I had searched store, after store, after store trying to track down just one pair, to no avail. Christmas Eve was finally upon us and I had to opt for a … Continue reading

How My Pet Monkey Ruined My Voting Experience

As I was heading out the door today to perform the great American privilege of voting, I glanced back to notice my pet monkey, Chip Dip.  He was on his knees and had a look on his face that seemed to say ‘please, take me with you’ (that or he was looking for something). I was … Continue reading

The time my pet monkey didn’t take well to the new dog

A few years back, I decided to purchase a dog. I had been hesitant in this decision, unsure of how it would affect my pet monkey, Chip Dip.  I didn’t want him to feel any jealousy, or as if my attention would now be focused on the new pet. After much consideration and after some … Continue reading

How My Pet Monkey Cost Us The Championship

Over the weekend, my softball team had the honor of playing in our league’s championship game. The match-up was to take place in a hostile environment, our opponent’s home park. Our team took the field to boo’s from the crowd. I dusted off the pitcher’s mound, knowing it was going to be a long nine innings with no … Continue reading

The Time My Pet Monkey Ruined The Twilight Series

A few years back, I dated a woman who was a huge fan of the Twilight series, for some reason. She had brought a copy of the movie over to my house to watch, despite the fact that I had repeatedly voiced concerns that it would give me nightmares and I wouldn’t be able to … Continue reading

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