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This tag is associated with 18 posts

My Plans for When I’m a Ghost

As someone who is interested in the idea of the supernatural, I wonder why ghosts spend so much time simply scaring people.  And often, this is done in seemingly lazy ways (i.e. walking around loudly in the attic, opening cupboard doors, moving curtains, etc.). Some ghosts may not let you know they are around at all.  Why do they waste time and opportunities … Continue reading

A Giant June Bug Wants Me Dead

I had one of the strangest experiences last night.  I woke up and I found lying next to me, not my wife, but a giant June bug. At first I started panicking and hyperventilating.  I noticed that this made the June bug start to stir in his sleep. It fluttered its wings ever so gently … Continue reading

8 Signs The Moon Is Super

Over the weekend, a so-called ‘Super Moon’ lit up the night skies around the world. If you’re like me, you’ve been unable to sleep, due to the blinding moon beams blazing through your window. However, a lot of people didn’t notice any difference between the ‘Super Moon’ and a regular moon. Here are 8 signs … Continue reading

Childhood Memories, Are They Even Real?

Have you ever noticed that the memories from when you were younger seem to be in black and white? One memory in particular that I have is of my next door neighbor, Ted Cleaver.  We used to call him “Beaver” because when he was a kid he was attacked by a Beaver. We used to play … Continue reading

How My Pet Monkey Ruined My Job Interview

Despite my failed interview at the Rocking Chair Factory, I felt I had this one in the bag.  I was nailing every question, the conversation was comfortable and I had offered my interviewer a stick of gum several times, just like all of the experts recommend. “Everything looks great,” the interviewer looked at me with … Continue reading

Operation: DesTroy – The Next Step In My Feud With The Neighbor

With my enemy Troy at the gates, I have decided that the best offense is a good offense.  So I have decided to give him a taste of his own medicine, NyQuil. But before I do that, I have to tell you about my latest plan.  I have built a life size replica of myself … Continue reading

8 Signs That I’ve Won The Lottery

Last Friday’s world record jackpot sparked a lottery ticket buying frenzy.  On advice from experts, I will never flat out reveal if I won the money or not.  To the average person, I’ll appear to be the same old Tim.  However, there are some small signs that I’m a few hundred million dollars richer: -I’m no … Continue reading

To all of my Facebook “friends” who didn’t wish me a happy birthday

Dear “Friend,” Birthdays are a very special time in a man’s life.  They’re  a time when he can look at himself in the mirror with pride and say “I made it through another year without getting killed.” Yesterday, in particular, was a very important birthday for me.  I turned 35 and can finally run for … Continue reading

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