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Monkeys

This tag is associated with 8 posts

How My Pet Monkey Ruined New Years

As the new year approaches, I cannot help but think of a fateful New Year’s Eve past, spent by the fireplace with my pet monkey, Chip Dip.  For the longest time, we just sat quietly in our respective arm chairs, he in his smoking jacket and I in my robe, privately reflecting on the past, present and future, … Continue reading

The Day My Pet Monkey Screwed Me Over

I went down to the basement this morning to do a load of laundry, only to find my clothes fresh, clean and neatly folded in a basket near the dryer. Confused, I looked up to see my pet monkey, Chip Dip. The monkey had done the load for me. I was excited about not having … Continue reading

The Time My Pet Monkey Ruined My Dinner Party

This past weekend, I organized a very stressful event.  I was hosting a formal dinner and had invited my boss, my priest, my old college dean, my old Army captain, my old Navy captain, the CEO of Old Navy, My old football coach, my mother-in-law, the mayor of our town and the people at WordPress who decide … Continue reading

The time my pet monkey didn’t take well to the new dog

A few years back, I decided to purchase a dog. I had been hesitant in this decision, unsure of how it would affect my pet monkey, Chip Dip.  I didn’t want him to feel any jealousy, or as if my attention would now be focused on the new pet. After much consideration and after some … Continue reading

How My Pet Monkey Cost Us The Championship

Over the weekend, my softball team had the honor of playing in our league’s championship game. The match-up was to take place in a hostile environment, our opponent’s home park. Our team took the field to boo’s from the crowd. I dusted off the pitcher’s mound, knowing it was going to be a long nine innings with no … Continue reading

How My Pet Monkey Ruined My Job Interview

Despite my failed interview at the Rocking Chair Factory, I felt I had this one in the bag.  I was nailing every question, the conversation was comfortable and I had offered my interviewer a stick of gum several times, just like all of the experts recommend. “Everything looks great,” the interviewer looked at me with … Continue reading

My Pet Monkey Ruined My Car

I was just about to head out to get an oil change the other day when I heard some clanking and clamoring coming from the garage.  I opened to door and turned on the light to see nothing out of the ordinary.  Then, all of the sudden, my pet monkey Chip Dip slid out from … Continue reading

My Pet Monkey Ruined My Kitchen

Last night I returned home after a grueling day at work to find my kitchen had been ransacked.  There were pots and pans strewn about and everything was coated in a thick layer of flour.  I walked, dazed, into the living room to see more of the same. Everything coated in flour. I returned to … Continue reading

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