Over the weekend, I made a stunning discovery. I was getting ready for my niece’s baptism and couldn’t find my black suit. “Just wear your pin striped suit,” my wife suggested. “Pin stripes?” I asked. “What is this, Mardi Gras?” “Suit yourself,” she replied. “I’m trying,” I responded going through my closet. Finally, I made … Continue reading
When this life is over and all of the crappy things I’ve ever done are made known to all, I hope they don’t focus in on all of the times I’ve done something crappy and my fly was down, cause that would make it a hundred times worse.
Last Friday’s world record jackpot sparked a lottery ticket buying frenzy. On advice from experts, I will never flat out reveal if I won the money or not. To the average person, I’ll appear to be the same old Tim. However, there are some small signs that I’m a few hundred million dollars richer: -I’m no … Continue reading