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This tag is associated with 29 posts

3 Cakes That Ruined Presidents Day

February 14th, 2005.  Just one week until my favorite holiday, President’s Day.  I was busy growing my Abraham Lincoln beard and powdering my George Washington wig when the phone rang. Startled, I dropped my wig on the floor.  Powder everywhere. “Damn it!” I shouted. I picked up the phone.  It was my friend Jeff. “Come over … Continue reading

The Horrible, Horrible Time Brad Pitt Came To My Halloween Party

Over the weekend, actor Brad Pitt and I attended the same Halloween party. Being as how I’ve already seen Brad Pitt in person several times, first, when he filmed a movie at my office , again when he worked out at my gym, another time at the coffee shop, at the gas station, at the beach, … Continue reading

8 Reality Shows That Are Just Too Good For TV

There are so many reality shows on TV already, but not many of them are actually watchable. At the same time, I could suggest a few new reality show concepts that could be just as entertaining as anything on TV, but most likely will never be developed, because these ideas are just too good for … Continue reading

Studio Rejects My ‘Gravity’ Pitch

With the film ‘Gravity’ getting great reviews at the box office this weekend, I can’t help but feel a little bittersweet.  You see, I was originally set to write this film.  However, as you can see from the below notes on my script, studio executives were anything but pleased with my work. p.2 – There aren’t … Continue reading

Studio Rejects My Insidious: Chapter 2 Script

With the film ‘Insidious: Chapter 2’ hitting number one at the box office this weekend, I can’t help but feel a little bittersweet.  You see, I was originally set to write this film.  However, as you can see from the below notes on my script, studio executives were anything but pleased with my work. p. 1 … Continue reading

10 People We Would Rather See Play Batman Than Ben Affleck

Warner Bros touched off some controversy this week when the studio announced that Ben Affleck will be the next Batman.  Below are ten people we would rather see portray the Dark Knight. 10 – Dave Collier 9. Flavor Flav 8. Egon Spangler From Ghostbusters 7. George W. Bush 6. Jason Alexander 5. Grimace 4. Stefan … Continue reading

9 Classic Movies That Could Be Ruined With A One Minute Change

There are hundreds of films that could be considered works of art.  However, like adding a moustache to Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, or a parrot to the shoulder of  Michelangelo’s David, classic films could be ruined with a simple one minute change. Here are 9 examples: The Godfather – The final scene. Michael Corleone closes … Continue reading

The Horrible, Horrible Time Brad Pitt Stopped By The Pizza Place

Actor Brad Pitt over the weekend stopped by the pizza place where I had stopped for a slice. Being as how I’ve already seen Brad Pitt in person several times, first, when he filmed a movie at my office , again when he worked out at my gym, another time at the coffee shop, at … Continue reading

How I May Have, Once Again, Made Things Worse For Justin Bieber

Over the weekend, I was contacted by Justin Bieber’s people.  They informed me that their client is under investigation for reckless driving after speeding through his neighborhood during memorial day. They had heard that I moonlight as a ghostwriter for celebrities in crisis(Tom Cruise, Kristen Stewart, Nicki Minaj ,Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Psy) and asked … Continue reading

Studio Rejects My Hangover 3 Script

With the film ‘Hangover Part III’ doing well in theaters all across the nation, I cannot help but feel a little bittersweet. You see, I was originally asked to write this third installment of the franchise. Unfortunately, studio executives were anything but pleased with my work, as you can see from their notes outlining their … Continue reading

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