Our garage door apparently killed a salamander the other day. Making matters worse, I looked it up and the type of salamander killed was an endangered species. Really though, no wonder you’re an endangered species if you can’t get out of the way of a garage door in time. The salamander even had a really … Continue reading
As Army of Awesome People’s Lindsay Tacia rightly points out, most ghosts spend the afterlife, haunting people in boring, lazy and cliched manners (see My Plans For When I’m A Ghost, More Plans For When I’m A Ghost). One must put some effort into one’s ghostly abilities and I agree. However, I began to think, what if I … Continue reading
I have always been interested in the idea of an afterlife. I often find myself tuning into television shows depicting “terrifying” hauntings. After a few minutes though, I find myself dozing off. Why? These ghosts spend an infinite amount of time haunting people in a boring, clichéd manner. It takes a lot more than a … Continue reading
Funerals are generally thought of as glum and solemn affairs, but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Here are some things you can try to make your own funeral fun with a little planning. (Disclaimer: DO NOT attempt to make someone else’s funeral fun without prior consent, as some people’s ghosts have no … Continue reading
When I have finally departed from this world, I hope that I can be remembered for one thing. I wish to be remembered as that guy who was always hoping to be remembered for something. And that I liked falcons.
As Harold was dying, he caught a glimpse of his soul leaving his body and departing for hell through the floor. “Oh no you don’t!” Harold said, grabbing his soul by the ankle and tossing it towards Heaven. Unfortunately for Harold, he couldn’t throw that high and his soul came plopping back to the floor. … Continue reading