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crime

This tag is associated with 4 posts

The Time I Really Offended The Blair Witch

Perhaps my most terrifying investigation took place as my partner and I were looking into the disappearance of three young filmmakers who went missing while shooting a documentary on the legend of the Blair Witch.  After months of no leads, hikers had stumbled upon the trio’s video tape.  Its contents were horrifying. “I don’t know how much more … Continue reading

Who Moved My Zzzzzz?

It had come to my attention that, every morning, someone was replacing my regular bed with a more comfortable bed just before my alarm clock went off. If this were not bad enough, they were also moving time forward 14 minutes, exactly one minute after I pushed the snooze button for 15 more minutes of … Continue reading

How I May Have Made Things Worse For Kanye West

Over the weekend, I was contacted by Kanye West’s people.  They informed me that their client is under investigation for assaulting a photographer. They had heard that I moonlight as a ghostwriter for celebrities in crisis(Tom Cruise, Kristen Stewart, Nicki Minaj ,Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Psy) and asked if I might write a letter on his behalf, … Continue reading

These Cookies Taste Like Donuts

“These cookies taste like doughnuts”. Those were the only words written on the scrap of paper she had clutched in her hand. She lay there in a slinky red dress that was too tight in all the weird places. One would have thought she was sleeping if they didn’t notice the smeared mascara, the knife … Continue reading

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