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This tag is associated with 5 posts

A Hero For Everyone

Let’s face it people, the city is in turmoil and Batman isn’t getting any younger.  It is time to find a new superhero to take the reins.  I will be the first to throw my hat into the ring. (I’m gonna need that back, though) Let me begin by telling you about my powers.  I … Continue reading

The Halloween Contest

I thought I had this year’s Halloween costume contest in the bag. I went as a modern version of 19th U.S. President Rutherford B. Hayes, if he was younger and looked different. I lost, however, to someone dressed as a slutty Shel Silverstein. “Since when did Halloween become less about spooky and more about provocative?” I  … Continue reading

Army Of Awesome People Turns 1

Dear readers, One year ago, armyofawesomepeople.com was launched with a clear mission: deliver up to the minute and accurate information about cell phone towers and their affects on migratory bird patterns in North America and Argentina. Back then, we were 7 different people with one very clear, united, passionate mission: destroy those birds. Well, that didn’t happen … Continue reading

If I were God

If I were God, every now and again I would have trees blast off into outer space, but I would make it so only one person could see what was happening. Then when that person goes to tell everyone about it, no one believes him and he gets accused of illegal lumberjacking. Then, during his trial, just … Continue reading

Diary of a Mad Ex-President – Chapter 2: Idiots in other countries

Dear Diary, People treat you different when you’re not the president any more.  First of all, they stop askin’ you to sign bills into law.  Secondly, other countries stop takin’ your threats seriously.  And fourthly, people start lookin’ at you funny, and not ‘ha-ha’ funny.  Today a man walked past me in the hardware store … Continue reading

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