James Miller

Starbucks Did It All For The Wookiee!

Star Wars & Starbucks Nerds Rejoice! Just in time for The Rise of Skywalker, the burnt beans baristas have unleashed the new Chewbacca Frappuccino. In order to order, you must speak Shyriiwook, one of three official Wookiee languages. This special cup of caffeine is only available in the Tall variety. These coffee crusaders really went … Continue reading →

That’s What She (Actually) Said

I’m pretty sure all Americans either say, “That’s what she said,” or hear the phrase about a googooplex times a day. I’ve found, however, that when people say “that’s what she said” it more often than not turns out that “she” didn’t say anything like that. So, I went to the local Cracker Barrel to conduct … Continue reading →

I Hope This Happens To You

My Symphony Orchestra

Recently, I attended a Detroit Symphony Orchestra (DSO) performance with my wife. The DSO performed the music of Rachmaninoff and featured pianist Olga Kern of Russia. As I sat and listened to the DSO, I was unexpectedly asked to fill in and perform every musical instrument at the same time while simultaneously conducting. Strange right? … Continue reading →

What if Superman was Mediocre Man?

What if Superman wasn’t super at all. What if Clark Kent’s alter super identity was Mediocre man? Would he do everything with merely half the effort? I bet he’d only be able to partially see your grundies with his middle of the road x-ray vision. He’d probably be only sort of strong and able to … Continue reading →

What If? The Hitchhiking Hulk

Wouldn’t it be odd if we were not the human race, but the Hulk race? What if a scientist Hulk was blasted with gamma rays in an awful laboratory experiment and whenever he/she became enraged transformed into a weak monster that looks like a human? I assume other Hulks would smash that human monster unmercifully. … Continue reading →

The Aylesbury Monster

The kids that lived on Aylesbury Street would always spend their time playing in the nearby field, which was full of Weeping Willow trees, and many, many squirrels. Near the edge of the field was a large, dead, and very creepy tree that looked like a monster. The children of the neighborhood called this tree … Continue reading →

MLB Announces New Triple Crown Rules

Recently, Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers won Major League Baseball’s Triple Crown, which hasn’t been achieved since 1967. With this, Bud Selig, the commissioner, of the MLB is putting new rules in place that apply only to the Triple Crown winner. Mr. Selig called up the Army of Awesome People’s office just today to … Continue reading →

When The Moon Hits Your Eye…

I was thinking about the lyrics to the song That’s Amore recently. In particular the part that goes, “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie.” It would seem that if the moon hit your eye the world would be in a state of chaos. We’d have extreme tides, worldwide flooding and … Continue reading →

Not So “Rockin” Moments in Rock History

Through the years Rock ‘n’ Roll has had many documented moments that went down in Rock ‘n’ Roll history. Here’s a few not so rock moments you won’t find in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame & Museum that we recently discovered. Rock on! \m/ – When Ozzy Osbourne turned into a vampire from … Continue reading →