Has anyone ever heard the phrase “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight”? It is thrown around a lot where I work. I have taken the liberty of listing a few other things that are unacceptable to bring to gunfights: 1. Jello. 2. Canned Yams. 3. Sticks and/or stones (They just break bones.) 4. Words. 5. A … Continue reading
With the dramatic increase in gas prices, I have decided that I am going to start drafting behind other cars. I have heard that this can save tens, maybe even millions of dollars in gas over a months time. So if you see a red Silverado about three inches off of your back bumper, don’t … Continue reading
I’m here in the National Mall with live coverage of President Barrack Obama’s second inauguration and to tell you the truth, I thought it would be a lot more crowded. I have been here since 10:00 am. I thought that was a little late for a veteran reporter like myself, but apparently it is right on … Continue reading
We all can remember the first couple rules of Fight Club, but it always seemed to me that there had to be more. Well wouldn’t you know it, I was crawling around in the sewer and I came across an unedited reel of the movie. Here is a complete list of the rules: Rule 1: … Continue reading
When I have finally departed from this world, I hope that I can be remembered for one thing. I wish to be remembered as that guy who was always hoping to be remembered for something. And that I liked falcons.
I cried when I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet and I was just kind of straight-faced. He gave me a pair of shoes that didn’t fit me. Apparently he once had really small feet. For a man that is. Not like freakishly small……..Maybe like an 8, or something. … Continue reading
Another year has come to a close. It’s times like this that I take a look around and wonder, “Where the hell am I”? If there is one thing I would like to see more of in this coming year it’s supernatural things. Where are the vampires, the ghosts, the Ewoks? You hear about these things but … Continue reading
Little Johnny Mitchell was a small boy in a big town. All he ever wanted was to reach the top of the refrigerator without his little sister lifting him up. At school, all the kids would pick on him and call him names like half-pint, smalley and Johnny. The football team would push him around in … Continue reading
Yesterday I “accidently” knocked off a bottle of sunscreen lotion from the counter. The bottle flipped over and the cap of the lotion got caught between the bottom drawer and middle drawer, making the bottle stick out horizontally. I told Sara that it was worth at least 50 points. Unfortunately she didn’t seem to think so.
Just real quick, I just recently printed out my blogs on MS Word and I realized that my spelling is atrocious (sp). I could have sworn that the word “ridiculous” was spelled “readickulus”. And that “artichoke” was spelled “hooeylong”. Who would have thought that the word “spinach” was not spelled “kloot8he ]”? But, I digress. … Continue reading