Advertisements
//
fall in
Satire

The 12 worst historical inaccuracies in Bill O’Reilly’s ‘Killing Lincoln’

Bill O’Reilly is no stranger to controversy, but this time it’s his book that’s under fire.  O’Reilly’s best-seller ‘Killing Lincoln’ has been banned from many popular Lincoln attractions, due to what his critics call ‘inaccuracies.’  O’Reilly is defending his work, saying the mistakes are minor and that his enemies are trying to slow his book sales.

We in the Army of Awesome People never know who to believe, so we decided look into the matter ourselves.

We discovered the book is not only full of historical inaccuracies, but typos, crayon drawings, excessive swearing, unnecessary nudity and razor sharp pages as well.
Here are the 12 worst historical inaccuracies we found in the book:

The Preface – written by Abraham Lincoln.

p.1 – “There is much debate over which came first, Lincoln or the Lincoln Memorial.”

p. 10 – “The Gettysburg Address started off as someone’s actual address.  Lincoln simply expanded it into a page long speech”

p. 21 – “…although they are together on bills in your wallet, the only time in history that Lincoln, Washington, Alexander Hamilton and Andrew Jackson were actually together was when they united on stage for a children’s charity in Philadelphia, PA.  The five were dubbed the 36 dollar quartet. “

p. 32 – “During the Lincoln-Douglas debates, Lincoln vowed to send a man to the moon, a promise he would fulfill during his first term in office.”

p. 35 – “Union General Ulysses Grant and Confederate General Robert E. Lee met only once, but fell madly in

Lee meets Grant. Love at first sight?”

love.”

p. 42 – “During his presidency, Lincoln Logs were simply referred to as logs.

p. 63 – “Although the North and South fought bitterly during the Civil War, the East and West remained widely neutral.”

p.72 – Lincoln’s famous chinstrap beard was actually a fake and would have been a complete beard had not the fake moustache kept falling off.

p. 95 – “Then, after shooting Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth held his gun in the air and shouted ‘sic simper tyrannus!’  Several people in the theater were heard to shout back ‘Speak English!’

P. 100 – “Abraham Lincoln died of natural causes.”

Epilogue – “From 1932-1989 it was illegal in the United States to celebrate Lincoln’s birthday on Washington’s birthday.”

armyofawesomepeople.com is a satirical website

Advertisements

About Tim Kochenderfer

I'm about yay-high and weigh about yay pounds

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Advertisements

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 4,333 other followers

Divided and/or Conquered

  • 132,147 hits

Tweet The Army

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Categories

%d bloggers like this: