Army Of Awesome People
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The Halloween When I Was Chased By The Headless Horseman
I’ll never forget the Halloween when I was chased by the Headless Horseman. He finally tackled me at the 30 yard line. “Who is this guy?!” our quarterback Pete yelled at the refs. “Illegal substitution!” Apparently the Headless Horseman didn’t like Pete’s argument because he grabbed Pete by the facemask and drew his sword. Yellow … Continue reading
The Time I Really Offended The Blair Witch
Perhaps my most terrifying investigation took place as my partner and I were looking into the disappearance of three young filmmakers who went missing while shooting a documentary on the legend of the Blair Witch. After months of no leads, hikers had stumbled upon the trio’s video tape. Its contents were horrifying. “I don’t know how much more … Continue reading
The Late Night Adventures Of My Smartphone
Did you ever notice that sometimes you leave a fully charged phone in the evening, only to see in the morning that the battery is totally drained? Apparently, just because you’re not actually using the phone, it doesn’t mean that your phone isn’t working hard. So here’s probably what your smartphone does at night while … Continue reading
Studio Rejects My ‘Gravity’ Pitch
With the film ‘Gravity’ getting great reviews at the box office this weekend, I can’t help but feel a little bittersweet. You see, I was originally set to write this film. However, as you can see from the below notes on my script, studio executives were anything but pleased with my work. p.2 – There aren’t … Continue reading
“Timeline Travel” – The Greatest Facebook Prank Of All Time
Last week, a coworker, sitting 10 feet away called me. “Someone ‘liked’ an old picture of me and now suddenly everybody is ‘liking’ it. How do I stop it?” she asked. “I don’t think you can,” I responded and then I ‘liked’ the picture as well. “Tim!” she shouted. “Great picture!” I added a comment. … Continue reading
Sinking Like A Bronze Balloon
He couldn’t believe that he was at the Olympics. And what’s more is that this dive could win him the gold medal. He only had to concentrate. If he executed this dive correctly, his name would go down in history. “CANNONBALL!!!!” the diver screamed at the top of his lungs. He then plummeted through the … Continue reading
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