If you were like most children, you grew up watchingSesame Street. If, however, for some reason you did not maintain your loyalty to the program well into adulthood, you would notice if you tuned in now that many of the characters you knew and loved are no longer on the show. We decided to pay a visit to PBS and find out why. However, we were severely beaten shortly after knocking on the door. Luckily, thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, we got the information we were looking for.
The Sesame Street files:
Name: Forgetful Jones
Why he is no longer on Sesame Street: Was banned after an episode where he “forgot” where babies come from and kept interrupting segments to ask, much to the discomfort of other Muppets.
Name: Guy Smiley
Known for: Name: Game show host, “The Remembering Game,” “The Triangle is Right”
Why he is no longer on Sesame Street: Mysteriously disappeared after ignoring several threatening requests from Pat Sajak to cease unsubstantiated claims of being “America’s favorite game show host.”
Known for: Trying to sell other characters letters of the alphabet. Song sung to Ernie “would you like to buy an O?”
Why he is no longer on Sesame Street: After no one wanted to buy an “O”, turned to selling “X”
Name: Two-headed Monster
Known for: Monster with two heads, one body, opposite interests.
Why they are no longer on Sesame Street: Left show after undergoing rare 24 hour surgical separation procedure at theUniversity ofCalifornia.
Name: Pat Playjacks
Known for: Host of “Squeal of Fortune”
Name: Mumford the Magician, AKA “The Amazing Mumford”
Known for: Bungled magic tricks. Magic phrase “A-la-peanut-butter-sandwiches.”
Why he is no longer on Sesame Street: Banned after episode where, in a fit of rage, banished Ernie and Bert to an alternate dimension (see episode “Bert, where are we Bert?”)
Name: Don Music
Why he is no longer on Sesame Street: Left in early 1990’s, changed name and became front man for a band called “Nirvana.” Unknown what happened after that.
Name: Sherlock Hemlock
Known for: Self appointed “World’s Greatest Detective.” Overlooking obvious clues.
Why he is no longer on Sesame Street: Appointed by Bush Administration in 2001 to lead the hunt for Osama bin Laden.
Name: Yip Yips
Known for: Aliens from outer space. Repeatedly saying “yip yip yip, uh huh, uh huh.”
Why they are no longer on Sesame Street: “Excessive probing”