Bear attacks have been on the rise in 2013. Scientists have been baffled as to why. Below are ten likely reasons:
-Not enough positive influences in the forest.
-Resurgence of gangsta rap, which glorifies violence while minimizing consequences
-They suspect we may have weapons of mass destruction
-Trying to get their own week on the discovery channel
-Trying to get a Bearnado film made (sorry that was the exact same joke as above)
-Increase in attacks tied to release of “Salmon, For Men” cologne by Estee Lauder.
-Insert Miley Cyrus VMA joke here
-Foolish publication of study touting humans as a healthier alternative to fish
-Just an excuse to use the hashtag #Mauled!
-It was something you did.
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Brian Croitori
Jason Gooley
Lindsay Tacia
List of X
Randy Shy
James Miller
Stickwick Stapers
Todd Daggett
Miley Cyrus made teddy bears twerk, and real bears took it as an insult. [Miley Cyrus joke inserted]
Posted by List of X | September 9, 2013, 1:36 amI appreciate that.
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | September 9, 2013, 4:03 pm