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Satire

A Day Filled With Zombies And Robots

I was at one of those party supply stores when a most peculiar thing happened.

I had to get to some paper plates.  They happened to be right in front of what I presumed to be a sales clerk who was stocking the shelves.  I kind of made my way over there making it apparent that I was in the market for the guarded paper plates.  She continued to stock away.  I finally had to reach in there and I said “excuse me”.  She stepped back out of the way but did not return a customary “pardon me” or “whoops”.

My heart started to beat really fast as I made my way around the corner.  Obviously I was dealing with a zombie, albeit one in the very early stages of the zombification process.

What was I going to do!?!  I had never come face to face with a zombie before.  I just stood there, clinging to the paper mache’ rack.  My plan since the age of 3 had always been to act like one of them, whether it be a zombie, a mummy or a Frankenstein.  “Ok…Here goes!” I said out loud for some reason.  Hindsight is 20/20.

I started to stagger out into the aisle and repeated “brains, brains” over and over, with a wide eyed expression.  The sales zombie just looked at me.  Apparently this zombie had a similar plan since an early age.  She started to act just like a human.

“What are you doing?!?”  she yelled as I neared her delicious brain.  I almost had her but she was able to pull the shelves down on top of me.  The very same shelves that housed the wares that brought on this whole mess.

The salesbie (sales clerk + zombie = salesbie)  was able to make her way out of the store.  When the authorities arrived, I just pretended to be one of those robotic Halloween things.  That seemed to work.

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About Jason Gooley

Thank you for your interest in me. Where do I start? Well, I guess I'm made up of about the average amount of cells. Let's see...2 arms, 2 legs...Yeah that sounds like me.

Discussion

3 thoughts on “A Day Filled With Zombies And Robots

  1. Reblogged this on nbeamp.

    Posted by TOTORO | August 26, 2013, 2:16 am
  2. Salesbie. I will use this word, I think.

    Posted by Proseia | August 22, 2013, 12:11 am
  3. Lately, they’re all zombified it seems.

    Posted by georgefloreswrite | August 22, 2013, 12:07 am

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