Advertisements
//
fall in
Satire

8 Annoying Things About Cicadas Emerging After 17 Years

After spending 17 years underground, billions of Cicadas have surfaced once again on the East Coast. Many people find the cicadabugs annoying because of the extremely loud noises they make.  However, those insects have been underground since 1996, and a lot of people are starting to find them annoying for other reasons:

-As soon as they emerged, they immediately launched into the Macarena

-Every time you see one, it tries giving you its “pager” number

-They always try ordering Crystal Pepsi at restaurants

-They keep trying to show you family home videos then get pissed that you have nothing on which to play their VHS tapes

-When you try to tell them about all of the huge technological advances over the past 17 years, they feel the need to counter with something cool that happened underground.

-They keep asking why you’re not on Classmates.com

-Won’t shut up about how much more sleek the wasps are in 2013

-Repeatedly asking how we avoided the Y2K meltdown, but shortly after you start answering, they interrupt you with deafening chirping.

Advertisements

About Tim Kochenderfer

I'm about yay-high and weigh about yay pounds

Discussion

11 thoughts on “8 Annoying Things About Cicadas Emerging After 17 Years

  1. LOLOL! I remember the last time these suckers came out, and one chased me down a street. I guess they were mistaking me for one of their own because of the Alanis Morrisette pouring from my headphones.

    Posted by viadellaRosa | May 20, 2013, 10:51 am
  2. Now if the in-laws would only show up every 17 years.

    Posted by toniandrukaitis | May 17, 2013, 8:08 pm
  3. I’m such a dumbo, I always thought a Cicada was a tree, not an insect. Glad I read this before anybody found out about my mistake (except that I am now telling everybody anyway)
    XD

    Posted by beansprowtcrocodile | May 17, 2013, 4:48 am
  4. Early cicada education is the answer !

    Posted by Dan Hennessy | May 16, 2013, 11:54 pm
  5. Loved this piece! I lived in the Deep South for almost 10 years. The year I arrived was a cicada year. I didn’t know any different and just assumed it was normal. While walking around a mall, I kept hearing that chirping sound wherever I went. After about an hour of this, and getting funny looks — which I just figured I was getting for not wearing a big belt buckle — I realized I had been carrying a cicada on my shoulder the whole time.

    Posted by Ned's Blog | May 16, 2013, 1:57 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Advertisements

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 4,322 other followers

Divided and/or Conquered

  • 135,449 hits

Tweet The Army

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Categories

%d bloggers like this: