If there’s one complaint every single critic has about Hamlet, it’s that the play is too wordy. Luckily, today, thanks to the power of Twitter, we can see what the play would be like, if the characters had smart phones and each line of dialogue was reduced to 140 characters or less. As you can see, it’s much, much better.
CstleGuard: 1:00am #pastmybedtime guarding castle. Time 4 Nap. @Norway don’t invade.
Norway: @CstleGuard what #castle r u at?
Norway: @CstleGuard ??
CstleGuard: #cantsleep. Any1 up?
GhostKing: @CstleGuard Boo!
CstleGuard: @GhostKing AH!
Horatio: @Cstleguard whats up? #pastmybedtime
Cstleguard: @Horatio RT @GhostKing Boo!
Horatio: AH! #wth?!
Norway: @CstleGuard WHAT #CASTLE R U AT?! #beingingnoredsux
Horatio: @CstleGuard dude @GhostKing is @Hamlet’s #Dad!
CstleGuard: @Horatio #stfu you’re #crazy
GhostKing: RT@CstleGuard dude @GhostKing is @Hamlet’s #Dad!
Hamlet: @Cstleguard, @Horatio jerk prank #going2far
GhostKing: @Hamlet Boo!
Hamlet: @GhostKing Dad?! #wtf!
GhostKing: @Hamlet watch ur language #Iknowwhatthosemeannow
Hamlet: @GhostKing what do u want? #beinghaunted
GhostKing: @Hamlet Avenge my death #murdered #youruncledidit
Hamlet: @GhostKing Uncle murdered you? I knew it!
GhostKing: @Hamlet Why didn’t you do anything about it then? #lazy
Hamlet: @GhostKing I’m not #lazy, I’m #busy!
GhostKing: @Hamlet avenge my death or you’re #grounded
Hamlet: @GhostKing I WILL! OH MY GOSH!
Norway: @CstleGuard – 1 Last time WHAT CASTLE R U AT?!
Hamlet: @GhostKing Uncle will pay for what he’s done!
Hamlet: @GhostKing ???
Horatio: @Hamlet u ok dude?
Hamlet: @Horatio @GhostKing disappeared!
Horatio: @Hamlet u mean he signed off?
Hamlet: @Horatio w/e. I’m avenging my father’s death. #Donttellanyone
Horatio: @Hamlet if u really want 2 keep it secret don’t hashtag it dude!
Norway: @Denmark @CastleGuard #invading your country. #beingignoredsux