Archive for

Studio Rejects My Hangover 3 Script

With the film ‘Hangover Part III’ doing well in theaters all across the nation, I cannot help but feel a little bittersweet. You see, I was originally asked to write this third installment of the franchise. Unfortunately, studio executives were anything but pleased with my work, as you can see from their notes outlining their … Continue reading

My Underappreciated Commencement Address

A few weeks back, I received an email from the President of my alma mater, asking if I would deliver this year’s commencement address. I called the dean immediately to accept. He informed me that the email was sent by mistake and had been intended for the much more famous MSU alum Magic Johnson. I … Continue reading

To-Do List, Should I Win The Record Powerball Drawing

Over the weekend, the Powerball jackpot reached a new record.  Like many Americans, I bought a ticket. I had made the purchase, however, just two hours before the drawing and realized I had no idea what I would do if I won. I quickly scrawled the below to-do list: 6:15 – Wake up. Call NASA. … Continue reading

8 Annoying Things About Cicadas Emerging After 17 Years

After spending 17 years underground, billions of Cicadas have surfaced once again on the East Coast. Many people find the bugs annoying because of the extremely loud noises they make.  However, those insects have been underground since 1996, and a lot of people are starting to find them annoying for other reasons: -As soon as … Continue reading

Fun With News Headlines: Volume 20

If you follow this site at all, you know about the discovery I’ve made that just may change the face of journalism forever.  I’ve found that by changing the photos that accompany news headlines, the stories become much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much,much,much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much more … Continue reading

AOAP Twitter Theater Presents: Hamlet, Scene 1 in Tweets

If there’s one complaint every single critic has about Hamlet, it’s that the play is too wordy. Luckily, today, thanks to the power of Twitter, we can see what the play would be like, if the characters had smart phones and each line of dialogue was reduced to 140 characters or less. As you can … Continue reading

How Nestle’s Dove Chocolate Ruined My Life

A few days ago, I bought a bag of Nestle’s Dove milk chocolate candies, because the store ran out of the chocolate I usually buy. It was the first time I tried Dove chocolate, but once I tried it, I was absolutely hooked, because it was simply the best chocolate I’ve ever tasted. It was not too … Continue reading

10 Worst Kentucky Derby Horse Names For The Radio Audience

Creative and unique horse names have long been a tradition at the Kentucky Derby. However, for those who listen to the race on the radio, they can often create quite a bit of confusion.  Below are the 10 most confusing horse names for radio listeners, followed by a transcript involving the use of the name … Continue reading

How To Play The Game of Thrones If It Were An Actual Game

Everyone knows the popular HBO show “The Game Of Thrones”, or the book series, or, at the very least, cannot avoid the conversations about “The Game Of Thrones”. However, did you ever wonder if you could actually PLAY The Game of Thrones yourself? Here are a few ways you can actually play The Game of … Continue reading

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 4,309 other subscribers

Divided and/or Conquered

  • 169,742 hits

Tweet The Army

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.