Anyone who ever spent more than 45 seconds driving, had driven behind a truck. And anyone who drove at least 45 seconds behind a truck, must have noticed a few standard safety decals at the back of the truck. Theoretically, these decals are supposed to promote safety, but sometimes you can also learn something about the truck driver from these stickers. Here are some examples:
“This Vehicle Stops At Every Railroad Crossing”
The driver is an adrenaline junkie.
“If You Can’t See My Mirrors, I Can’t See You”
The driver is blind, or possibly very touchy about his truck’s brand-new rear-view mirrors he just bought and is still very proud of.
“Keep Back 100 Feet”
The driver had beans and broccoli for lunch.
“This Vehicle Is Emission-Free”
Can you recommend anything for constipation?
“This Vehicle Makes Frequent Stops”
Thank you, the stuff you recommended really works!
“Construction Vehicle, Do Not Follow”
The driver is very modest and doesn’t like others to see his work before it’s finished.
“This Vehicle Makes Wide Turns”
Watch out, the driver is drunk!
“How Is My Driving?” with 1-800 number.
Please call, the driver is bored. (“What are you wearing?” decal just hasn’t been getting too many calls)
The driver voted for Romney, or had been hauling cargo between Kansas and Louisiana.
The driver is John McCain.
And if there is no decal on the back of the truck….
That can only mean that there is no driver in the cabin.