I had fallen asleep in bed the night before April 1st while petting the cat as she was curled up beside me. I was awakened in the morning by a barrage of meowing. I wiped the sleep from my eyes, got out of bed and started for the bathroom. As I neared the bedroom door I spotted it. The cat had strategically placed a sizable pile of fresh puke directly in the center of my usual path to the bathroom. “Nice try cat! Maybe next year!” I said out loud, hoping my cat felt embarrassed by it’s failed attempt at an April Fools joke. I side stepped the puke pile and continued on my way. It was about this time that I was reminded that I had fallen asleep petting the cat and that the sleep I had just cleared from my eyes had been unwittingly replaced with natures greatest itching powder, cat dander. My eyes began to itch relentlessly. Blinded by my cat dander induced eye itching fit, I stumbled the rest of the way to the bathroom in a rush to flush out my eyes and end the torture.
When I finally got to the bathroom, the feel of cold tile on bare foot that usually greeted me in the morning had been replace by the feel of warm mush on barefoot. “DAMMIT!! THE FIRST PILE WAS A DECOY!”, I shouted as I slid across the bathroom floor. I tried to catch myself on the toilet, but the cat had anticipated this move and left the lid up. The hand that would have prevented my head from smashing into the metal bathtub sunk to the bottom of the toilet with a splash.
I awoke face down on the floor of my bathroom. My head was bleeding and my left arm was stuck in the toilet bowl. My wife’s cat stood with it’s face inches from mine, it’s head cocked to the side wearing a sinister grin as it let out a laugh like meow.
Well played cat. Well played. This is no doubt payback for last April Fools when I replaced your cat litter with quick dry cement.