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That Sounds Made Up

Someone once told me, “You can’t drive forward while looking in the rear view mirror.” “NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT I CAN’T DO!!” I yelled and stormed out the nearest door. Once I found my way out of the closet, I set forth on a mission to prove that person wrong.

After several unsuccessful attempts I learned that, with a large mirror properly placed in the back seat, you can in fact drive forward while looking in the rear view mirror. I also learned how to replace a front bumper, a rear view mirror, a garage door, a rear bumper and that it is difficult to drive backward while looking in the rear view mirror when you have a large mirror in the back seat.

This little exercise got me thinking about other well known sayings that sounded made up and motivated me to prove them wrong as well. Below is a list that I have tested and the results of my tests.

1.) “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” – This saying is in fact FALSE. If properly fed and well groomed, a bird in the hand can actually be worth up to 5 or 6 in the bush.

2.) “You will never get where you are going if you only travel on sunny days.” – Wrong again! If you move to Hawaii and only plan to travel to places in Hawaii, you will always get where you are going. Even if you only travel on sunny days.

3.) “A stitch in time saves nine.” – No way Jose! I spent way more than nine stitches in time trying to find out what this even means.

4.) ” A picture is worth a thousand words.” –  This saying is mostly false. I offered exactly one thousand words as payment to purchase pictures from The Mona Lisa to my daughters school pictures with no success; however, I did run into a kind gentleman that was willing to part with a picture of Hello Kitty that he had taped to his bike and I only spent about 10-20 words.

5.)  “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” – The police officer I tested this on told me that there is a thin line between imitation and mockery. Of course he waited until AFTER the trial to let me in on that little secret. He also suggested that I discontinue testing this saying as I was not very good at it. So while I would like to say this saying is false, I have insufficient data to prove it so.

About Todd Daggett

Todd Daggett is a fool. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool as well. That or they are really smart but a very good liar. Either way you should probably take some time to get to know them to be sure and then punch them in the throat for calling Todd Daggett a fool. Nobody does that and gets away with it.


4 thoughts on “That Sounds Made Up

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  2. Very funny Mr. Doggett.

    Posted by Jeremy Piven | January 19, 2012, 10:47 pm
  3. Is that your title, Jim?

    Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | January 19, 2012, 6:28 pm
  4. This sounds made up to me.

    Posted by James Miller | January 19, 2012, 9:00 am

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