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How My Italian Catch Phrase Ruined My Vacation

When I booked a trip to Italy, my wife had one demand: Under no circumstances are you to develop an Italian catch phrase. And I can assure you, after my experience in Puerto Rico, I had no intention of doing so. In fact, we planned our trip only three weeks in advance, so I was … Continue reading

The Food Critic: A Culinary Review of Taco Bell’s Doritos Taco

There has been no shortage of innovative culinary items at Taco Bell. There was the Black Taco, where they took a regular taco and put it inside a different color, similar tasting shell.  Then there was the Volcano Taco, where they took a regular taco and put it inside a different color, similar tasting shell.  … Continue reading

Top Ten Rejected Apple Products For 2013

The Apple development team has been hard at work trying to develop the next big thing for 2013. Lately though the team’s ideas have become questionable. Some have blamed it on lack of leadership. Some have blamed it on complacency. Army of Awesome People has acquired a list of the top ten rejected products for … Continue reading

10 Other Things Not To Bring To A Gunfight

Has anyone ever heard the phrase “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight”?  It is thrown around a lot where I work.  I have taken the liberty of listing a few other things that are unacceptable to bring to gunfights: 1.  Jello. 2.  Canned Yams. 3.  Sticks and/or stones (They just break bones.) 4.  Words. 5.  A … Continue reading

How my Puerto Rican Catch Phrase Nearly Destroyed My Life

The first thing I was told upon my arrival to Puerto Rico was that I must try the cuisine. “Land the plane please!”  I shouted up to the cockpit. One of my pet peeves is when pilots tell me what to do, because, trust me, they’re the last ones to take advice when you approach … Continue reading

Gasoline- Now Made of Gold and Crushed Up Diamonds

With the dramatic increase in gas prices, I have decided that I am going to start drafting behind other cars.  I have heard that this can save tens, maybe even millions of dollars in gas over a months time.  So if you see a red Silverado about three inches off of your back bumper, don’t … Continue reading

That Sounds Made Up

Someone once told me, “You can’t drive forward while looking in the rear view mirror.” “NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT I CAN’T DO!!” I yelled and stormed out the nearest door. Once I found my way out of the closet, I set forth on a mission to prove that person wrong. After several unsuccessful attempts I … Continue reading

10 Ways How Santa Claus’ Life Is Really Difficult

The Army of Awesome People has recently covered the downsides of being Spider-Man, Superman, and Harry Potter, but they are not the only superheroes whose lives aren’t as glamorous as they might seem. Santa Claus is another example. Though he isn’t exactly a superhero, he still possesses powers few of us have, like being able to carry tons of … Continue reading

Fun With News Headlines – Volume 16

If you follow this site at all, you know about the discovery I’ve made that just may change the face of journalism forever.  I’ve found that by changing the photos that accompany news headlines, the stories become much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much,much,much, much, much, much, much more intriguing.  Here’s this week’s … Continue reading

How I May Have Made Things Worse For Justin Bieber

Over the weekend, I was contacted by Justin Bieber’s people.  They informed me that their client is facing scruitiny from fans for his inability to be punctual/conscious at concerts.  They had heard that I moonlight as a ghostwriter for celebrities in crisis(Tom Cruise, Kristen Stewart, Nicki Minaj ,Justin Timberlake, Selena Gomez, Psy) and asked if … Continue reading

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