Top 10 Rejected Al-Qaeda Plots

Life has been difficult for Al-Qaeda, ever since the death of their leader, Osama bin Laden.  The terrorist organization’s membership has been declining, the group had to cancel its annual spring dance and Al-Qaeda is now having a tough time thinking up new plots. Lucky for us, the group also had to sell its paper shredder so we managed to get our hands on the top 10 rejected Al-Qaeda schemes:

10. Disrupt Daylight Saving Time

9. Carjack the president

8. Crash a Segway scooter into the US Capitol building

7. Replace the crème filling in Twinkies with mayonnaise

6. Break up Kim Kardashian’s marriage

5. Send a man to the moon in the next five years

4. Take over Castle Grayskull and put an end to that meddling He-Man once and for all.

3. Release a mild lemon flavor into a major city’s water supply

2. Remove the elastic from the nation’s sock and underwear supply

1. Four words: Planes on a snake!