I have already covered the downside of being Spider-Man and Superman, but they are not the only superheroes whose lives aren’t as glamorous as they might seem. Though Harry Potter isn’t exactly a superhero, he still possesses magical powers few of us have, and he has two main requirements for being a superhero: a cape and parents who died in a freak accident. But even with his magical abilities his life is really difficult. Here are just a few examples:
1) Harry Potter is fighting his enemies by pointing a wooden stick and yelling, so in the heat of the fight even his opponent can’t help thinking “What a NERD…”
2) It’s really hard to land a real job with a Hogwarts diploma and no college degree.
3) Because Harry Potter has been fighting Lord Voldemort in the course of many books and movies without being able to (Spoiler Alert!) kill him, Harry became known by the nickname “The boy who can’t get the job done”.
4) Because of Harry’s easily identifiable lightning-shaped scar, he can never successfully rob a store or a gas station at a wandpoint.
5) All of Harry Potter’s magic abilities and spells are useless to save Harry Potter from graduating from school a virgin.
6) He’s been fined for cursing in public.
7) He can conjure money out of thin air. It sounds impressive but really isn’t, since United States Mint possesses the same superpower.
8) He’ll always be known as that guy who peaked in high school.
9) Even after beating Voldemort, Harry is legally not allowed to really celebrate until he’s 21.
10) The famous magical spells that Harry Potter can use cause immense pain to another person, are really just insults like “You’re really fat” or “I never really loved you, it was all fake”.
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Reblogged this on The Claire Violet Thorpe Express and commented:
This list is hilarious, but it is also true. Nuff said.
Posted by Claire Violet Thorpe | March 8, 2013, 6:48 pmPoor Harry, I never realised how rubbish things were for him. Looking at it as well, in the films particularly he has no great awe inspiring lines to speak off. In hind-sight for a nerdy kid with bad glasses and an embarrassing scar he’s got it pretty tough!
Posted by Emily Eastham | February 15, 2013, 2:51 amYes, and there is also that minor detail I forgot to mention, which is that someone is occasionally trying to kill him. That could be very annoying.
Posted by List of X | February 18, 2013, 12:31 amNo. 8 totally nails it. That’s the problem with these heroic literary orphans. No one wants to hear about the years of post-peak accomplishments. It’s all just, “tell me that story again about the giant snake in the bathroom when you were twelve!” In professional circles, it’s known as the “Ringo Starr complex.”
Posted by Maximum Know-How | February 13, 2013, 12:36 amYes, most of the time we never hear how they grew up to be successful accountants. At least Ringo Starr peaked late enough and high enough to never have get a day job.
Posted by List of X | February 13, 2013, 1:03 amThe list is cute. However, IMO, Harry Potter truly IS a hero, if for no other reason, he learned the meaning of true love, the value of family, and the treasure of friendship.
Posted by kimsrandomlife | February 11, 2013, 12:11 amThank you! IMO, learning all that doesn’t make him a hero, it just makes him a good person. But who are we Muggles to judge? 🙂
Posted by List of X | February 11, 2013, 4:37 pm