Everyone knows that Superman has these amazing powers like flying, X-ray vision and superhuman speed. But not many of us know how difficult his life really is. Here are just a few examples:
1) After Superman lands from a flight, he has to clear out dead bugs and small birds from his ears, eyes, and other cavities. Holding out hands in front of his face while flying provides only a small amount of protection.
2) Superman never goes to the bathroom. However, he has already talked to his doctor about this, and there may be hope.
3) Superman’s underpants had once ripped apart on the back due to constant fighting, and since it was really hard for him to find the time to mend the tear with the various world-saving activities, he had to start wearing a cape to cover the hole.
4) Superman can use his X-ray vision to see through any object, but then he has to replace his contact lenses.
5) Superman CAN be in the same room as Clark Kent, because according to the White Pages, there are 11 people in the United States named Clark Kent.
6) In bed, he’s not super, but actually below average. He can be super gentle and super confident, but because of his powers he completes the actual intercourse in 0.02 microseconds.
7) Kryptonite takes away Superman’s powers. Mixing Kryptonite and Viagra can make for a decent evening for Superman.
8) Red and blue colors he has to wear are not accidental. Federal Aviation Administration had signed off on the colors that make him visible to all passing aircraft.
9) Superman never sweats, never takes off his Superman outfit, and can freeze fire with his breath. These qualities had resulted in him being banned for life from multiple saunas and steam rooms across the country.
10) Letter “S” on Superman’s shirt does not actually stand for “Superman”. On the tight outfits he has to wear, “S” stands for size: Small.