9 Things That Will Happen If We Go Over The Fiscal Cliff

You’ve undoubtably heard a lot of about the looming ‘Fiscal Cliff’ our nation faces if Congress can’t reach a deal by January 1st.  However, there is a lot of confusion about what exactly will happen if an agreement isn’t reached.  Here are nine that may affect your life:

-American Cheese will simply be referred to as ‘cheese’

-That clunker you turned in during the government’s ‘Cash For Clunkers’ program, will be towed back to your house and dumped on your lawn

-Sesame Street will be opened to normal commuter traffic and Big Bird will be returned to the wild, where he came from

-You won’t be able to pull up your socks

-The War on Terror will be ruled ‘a tie’ and our troops will all return home

-Diet Doctor Pepper will taste much less like the original

-The positions of Secretary of State, Secretary of the Interior and Secretary of Defense will be cut; their jobs outsourced to China

.-Referencing the number of hurricanes and poisonous snakes, an attempt will be made to get a refund for the Louisiana Purchase from France

-The United States of America will now be called ‘Citibank Presents The United States of America.’