This week we’re featuring a guest post by one our favorite blogger’s, List Of X (check out his site here – we command you)
We rarely listen to pop music for its lyrics. There is a reason for that: if we start listening, it’s too easy to notice just how little sense some of these songs make. Here are a few examples.
Ke$ha – Die Young
I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums
Oh what a shame that you came here with someone
So while you’re here in my arms
Let’s make the most of the night like we’re gonna die young
What do you mean, “LIKE we’re gonna die young”? You ARE gonna die young! Let me count the ways how you die: first of all, that someone you came with is probably going to kill you; or you will die of a heart attack because your heart beats at 120 beats per minute, of finally, now that Ke$ha got you in her arms, you’ll be dead from the glitter poisoning. I can only hope you make it through the most of the night.
One Direction – What Makes You Beautiful
If only you saw what I can see
You’ll understand why I want you so desperately
Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe
You don’t know
You don’t know you’re beautiful
That what makes you beautiful
If you don’t know you’re beautiful, that does not make you beautiful. That makes you ignorant. I can’t believe you don’t know, oh oh.
David Guetta – Titanium ft. Sia
You shoot me down
But I won’t fall,
I am titanium
What gave you the idea that titanium does not fall? I suspect that you may be confusing titanium and helium. If you’re titanium, then what you won’t do is you won’t swim, and you won’t ever pass a TSA security check. But you also won’t get rust, which is a plus. And also, if your brain is titanium, that might actually explain the whole titanium-helium confusion.
Nicky Minaj – Starships
Starships were meant to fly
Hands up, and touch the sky
Can’t stop, ’cause we’re so high
Let’s do this one more time
Wait, wait, since when do starships have hands? If you got so high that you start seeing starships with hands, it really is time for you to stop. Ok, you want to do this one more time? Fine. If you are so high that you see starships with hands, stop.
Psy – Gangnam Style
Na nun sa na ye
Na je nun no man kum ta sa ro un gu ron sa na ye
Gu ron sa na ye
Oppan Gangnam Style
Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style
Eh sek si ley di
Actually, that makes perfect sense: Gangnam is a district in Seoul, and the song is in Korean. It is so sad that I cannot understand these eloquent Korean words of wisdom. I wonder what “eh sek si ley di” means in English. I could only guess that it is an ode to a beautiful Korean maiden.
Bruno Mars – Locked Out Of Heaven
Oh yeh yeh oh yeh yeh yeh ooh!
Oh yeh yeh oh yah yeh yeh ooh!
This part is probably in Korean, so let’s skip that and move on to the chorus…
Cause you make me feel like, I’ve been locked out of heaven
Oh, that sounds pretty romantic – this must mean that you make me feel alive…
For too long, for too long
Ah, I get it, you make me wanna kill myself. So does this song, actually. So, yeah, I guess this song does make sense, after all. Well, except for that part in Korean.