It’s official. Hostess is shut down and Twinkies are disappearing fast from store shelves. In any situation like this, winners and losers are bound to emerge.
The Parental Advisory Council: The company with the dirtiest sounding line of products is no longer in existence.
Cowboys: Just lost their most embarrassing mascot, a giant sponge cake who wears a ten gallon hat, a bandana covered in hearts, feminine western boots, white gloves and nothing else.
Sharks: Those who got the final boxes of Twinkies and are now charging $100 bucks on ebay for a product anyone could make in their kitchen with a simple chemistry set.
Ducks: Wonder Bread no longer exists. Now what will we feed them?
Store owners who don’t watch the news: People are buying up snack cakes in bulk. Better hire some extra staff to meet the demand.
The Apocalypse: Don’t expect dessert if you survive