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Satire

Dave & The Devil

The below story is an excerpt from ‘Sketch Night: 10 Comedy Skits For Teens’ by Tim Kochenderfer, available through Brooklyn Publishers:

When he was seventeen years old, Dave would have given anything for just one kiss from Judy Johnson.

“Id give anything for just one kiss from Judy Johnson,” Dave would often say to himself.

“Anything?”  All of the sudden, The Devil appeared in a puff of smoke.

“Yes, anything,” Dave replied.

“Even…” The Devil paused wickedly, “your soul?”

“Well, no,” Dave reflected, I wouldn’t give that.”

“Well than dont say anything!” the Devil erupted in anger.

“Sorry,” Dave apologized.

“Its not alright!” The Devil fired back.

“Hey, youre the one who came here,” Dave had become indignant.

“Thats because you said anything,” The Devil snapped back.  “I could have taken hundreds of souls by now.”

“Well youre wasting time arguing with me,” Dave was now growing annoyed.

“Shut up!” The Devil shot back.

“You shut up!” Dave countered.

“You shut up!” The Devil shouted and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“You shut up!” Dave yelled.

The Devil immediately reappeared in a puff of smoke.  “You shut up!” he shouted again and vanished the same as he had appeared.

Dave sat back down on his bed.  His thoughts returning to Judy.

“I would give anything, except my soul, for just one kiss from Judy Johnson,” he said whistfully staring off.

“Anything?” The Devil reappeared in a puff of smoke.  “Even….. your soul?”

“I just said anything but my soul,” Dave replied.

The Devil was furious.  “Don’t mumble!” he shouted.  “You mumbled that last part!”

“I did not!” Dave argued.

“You did too!” The Devil yelled and disappeared.

“Did not!” Dave replied.

“Did too!” The Devil reappeared in a puff of smoke.  “Now shut up!”

“You shut up!” Dave shot back.

“You!” The Devil disappeared.

Dave paused again.  His thoughts returning to Judy Johnson.

“I would give anything for just one kiss from Judy Johnson,” he said, staring whistfully off into space.

“Anything? Judy Johnson asked, appearing suddenly in a puff of smoke.

“Yes, anything for you Judy,” Dave replied.

“Even…” Judy paused wickedly, “your soul?”

“For you?” Dave reflected.  “Yes.”

“Oh that’s not even fair!” The Devil roared as he appeared in a puff of smoke.

“What?” Dave asked.

“You said you wouldn’t give your soul!” The Devil growled.

“I thought you left,” Dave replied.

“Well I didn’t,” The Devil countered.  “I was hiding behind your bookcase the entire time.”

“Well, I was behind the bookcase too and I don’t remember seeing any devil,” Judy jumped in.

“What are you talking about?” The Devil asked her.  “I said hi!”

“You did not!” Judy argued. “You were all like, acting like I wasn’t there the entire time.”

“Ah ha!” The Devil Shouted.  “So you did see me back there!  You’re a liar!”

“Leave her alone dude!” Dave shook his fist at The Devil.

“Fine!” The Devil disappeared into a puff of smoke.

“You saved me from The Devil,” Judy Johnson immediately kissed Dave.

“Woo hoo!” Dave exclaimed.  “I didnt even have to give you my soul!”

“So um, do you want to start a relationship or something?” Judy asked.

“Nope, I just wanted one kiss,” Dave replied proudly.  “Now if youll excuse me…”

Dave tried to disappear into a puff of smoke, but instead, fell over and broke his leg.

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About Tim Kochenderfer

I'm about yay-high and weigh about yay pounds

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