What if Superman wasn’t super at all. What if Clark Kent’s alter super identity was Mediocre man? Would he do everything with merely half the effort? I bet he’d only be able to partially see your grundies with his middle of the road x-ray vision. He’d probably be only sort of strong and able to leap a model building in a single bound; and I guess he’d be faster than an average jogger. I bet Lois Lane would totally ignore him and make fun of him, like, Batman is way cooler than you and he gets all the chicks; and rub it in that she’s dating Bruce Wayne. Mediocre Man would probably only make page 5 of The Daily Planet for accidentally setting his house on fire from dropping a cigarette while falling asleep. He’d probably get fired from his job as a reporter at The Daily Planet for lazy reporting. Also, he would probably flip off his enemies in frustration that he’s unable to beat them up; and I bet he’d drink tons of beer and watch reality TV like hoarders.
Why would anyone even think up Mediocre Man? What a ridiculous super hero.
By James Miller
© 2012 James Miller