I bet probably the most frustrating thing for a snake charmer is when you’re about to begin the snake charming process and some idiot in a sports car drives by blasting snake charming music that is way too fast and your snake bolts up to the lid of the basket and is knocked unconscious.
When this life is over and all of the crappy things I’ve ever done are made known to all, I hope they don’t focus in on all of the times I’ve done something crappy and my fly was down, cause that would make it a hundred times worse.
Whenever someone tells me that they cant stand me, I usually pull an orange out of my pocket and peel it slowly. Then, piece by piece, I eat the fruit, taking the time to reflect upon the succulence of each section. Then, if theyre still standing there, I punch them in the face.
Hollywood is set to begin casting the upcoming film ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ Based on a book popular with women (I haven’t read it, but I believe it’s some sort of Civil War drama), studios have had trouble finding a male actor to play the character Christian Grey. We managed to get our hands on a list of actors … Continue reading
Over the weekend, I decided to celebrate my German heritage by participating in an Oktoberfest with my fellow Army of Awesome People writer Jim and some other friends at a German bar in Detroit. There was German Food, German Beer and eventually a German band took the stage and broke out into the popular “Roll … Continue reading
If you’re a plumber, I bet probably the most frustrating thing is when a customer keeps calling you “Mario” just because of your profession, your blue overalls, your moustache and the fact that you stepped on his pet turtle.
Through the years Rock ‘n’ Roll has had many documented moments that went down in Rock ‘n’ Roll history. Here’s a few not so rock moments you won’t find in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame & Museum that we recently discovered. Rock on! \m/ – When Ozzy Osbourne turned into a vampire from … Continue reading
Steven Spielberg’s new film ‘Lincoln is set to hit theaters this November. The movie is a biographical drama about America’s greatest President and critics believe it will be a box office smash. I got a chance to catch a sneak peek of this film, however, and I’m not so sure it will do well. Here … Continue reading
As I sat in the coffee shop today, I overheard three guys sitting across from me, studying for the bar exam – loudly. At first it was extremely annoying and distracting, but then I became interested in their legal mumbo-jumbo. “So gentlemen,” I interrupted them, “what does all of this mean in layman’s terms?” “Oh … Continue reading
Recently, I made an amazing discovery. I was at the butcher’s counter at the grocery store, standing in line for a great sale they had on chicken breasts. After waiting 15 minutes, I was informed that the store had run out of stock. “Could I get a rain check?” I asked the butcher. “You wish,” … Continue reading