If you haven’t yet heard, Bill Ford, Jr., great-grandson of Henry Ford, executive chairman of Ford Motor Company and Detroit Lions vice chairman, vowed that the bums Detroit Lions will win a Super Bowl. What Ford, Jr. didn’t share is what we, here at Army of Awesome People, were fortunate enough to obtain. Ford, Jr. was kind enough to enlighten us of his plans to secure a Super Bowl win for Detroit, which is comprised of the following steps:
1) Invest $6 million to rebuild wide receiver Calvin “Megatron” Johnson so that 
he’s actually Megatron and can destroy every NFL team the Lions play.
2) Put the entire Lions roster on the DL and replace them with mutant lions.
3) Travel back in time to 2004 when the 
Detroit Pistons won the NBA Finals and bring Ben Wallace back to present day. Wallace will be the only Lions player on the field in hopes that every NFL player will “Fear the Fro.”
4) If the mutant lions idea doesn’t work out put kids on the field in hopes that the 
other team will feel bad if they tackle a child, which will make it easy for the kids to consistently score touchdowns.
5) Rename every Lions player Simba, because no one can mess with an entire team of Lion Kings.
6) Rebrand and recall all Ford vehicles to be called Lion and put a new Lion emblem on each Ford car, truck, SUV and crossover.
The Army of Awesome People staff isn’t quite sold on Ford, Jr.’s plan of action to win a Super Bowl, but we do like or new company car… a sweet Ford Lion.
By James Miller
© 2012 James Miller
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When I was a student at Tulane, I learned from experience to get out of town after Fat Tuesday because the following citywide hangover grew oppressive. It feels a little like the day after Mardi Gras here on this gray, rainy Monday in New Orleans, but more satisfying. One of the nuttiest Super Bowls in memory capped off a terrific week for New Orleans. Perhaps I stayed a couple days extra in the city with my family because I don’t want to go home..
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Posted by Kenton Niziol | February 16, 2013, 9:30 pmWhen I was a student at Tulane, I learned from experience to get out of town after Fat Tuesday because the following citywide hangover grew oppressive. It feels a little like the day after Mardi Gras here on this gray, rainy Monday in New Orleans, but more satisfying. One of the nuttiest Super Bowls in memory capped off a terrific week for New Orleans. Perhaps I stayed a couple days extra in the city with my family because I don’t want to go home.;
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Posted by Melissia Minten | February 13, 2013, 2:12 am