If you haven’t yet heard, Bill Ford, Jr., great-grandson of Henry Ford, executive chairman of Ford Motor Company and Detroit Lions vice chairman, vowed that the
bums Detroit Lions will win a Super Bowl. What Ford, Jr. didn’t share is what we, here at Army of Awesome People, were fortunate enough to obtain. Ford, Jr. was kind enough to enlighten us of his plans to secure a Super Bowl win for Detroit, which is comprised of the following steps:
2) Put the entire Lions roster on the DL and replace them with mutant lions.
3) Travel back in time to 2004 when the Detroit Pistons won the NBA Finals and bring Ben Wallace back to present day. Wallace will be the only Lions player on the field in hopes that every NFL player will “Fear the Fro.”
4) If the mutant lions idea doesn’t work out put kids on the field in hopes that the other team will feel bad if they tackle a child, which will make it easy for the kids to consistently score touchdowns.
5) Rename every Lions player Simba, because no one can mess with an entire team of Lion Kings.
6) Rebrand and recall all Ford vehicles to be called Lion and put a new Lion emblem on each Ford car, truck, SUV and crossover.
The Army of Awesome People staff isn’t quite sold on Ford, Jr.’s plan of action to win a Super Bowl, but we do like or new company car… a sweet Ford Lion.
By James Miller
© 2012 James Miller