A stunning defeat this weekend for American superstar swimmer Michael Phelps. Phelps was trounced in the highly anticipated match-up against Ryan Lochte in the 400-meter individual medley. While Lochte won the gold, Phelps placed a distant 4th and could barely pull himself from the pool. We caught up with Phelps from our media base in London (Ontario, Canada unfortunately due to coverage restrictions) Phelps made the following ten excuses:
– Shouldn’t have scarfed down that Big Mac before jumping into the pool
– Decision to intimidate opponents by wearing all 17 medals around neck during swim backfired significantly
– Was injured after Queen landed on him during Opening Ceremonies dress rehearsal
– Bad idea to wear a life jacket during race
– Shouldn’t have stopped for all of those bathroom breaks
– Until last week, thought it was a Winter Olympics year
– Not an ideal time to try out the wool swim cap
– Couldn’t sleep night before because of terrifying, giant Lord Voldemort puppet in Opening Ceremonies
– Accidentally grabbed someone’s prescription goggles right before jumping into pool
– Still shaken up by Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes divorce
Brian Croitori
Jason Gooley
Lindsay Tacia
List of X
Randy Shy
James Miller
Stickwick Stapers
Todd Daggett
Army Of Awesome People 
Or all the avocado from that Subway sub weighed him down.
Posted by Brianna's Happy Life | July 31, 2012, 9:31 amhahaha i was wondering what all that green stuff was on his chin
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | July 31, 2012, 4:40 pmOr maybe those waterproof goggles kept showing the finish line closer than it really was
Posted by List of X | July 30, 2012, 12:44 amhahahahaha. “Ahhh, race over. That was easy!”
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | July 30, 2012, 2:11 am