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The Literal Occurrences Of Myron Clockwork: Myron Has Breakfast

It was just another normal morning for Myron, but he, as always, greeted the day with trepidation. You see, Myron often experiences situations of literal context by others.

Myron thought it would be fun this particular day to hop on his Hampton Cruiser and ride to his local International House of Flapjacks to enjoy some good ole country breakfast fixings.

Myron had a glorious bike ride to the IHOF… wind blowing his hair, sun shining on his face, and cars honking and nearly hitting him as he drove haphazardly in the road.

Finally, Myron arrived at IHOF. He locked his Hampton Cruiser up and went inside.

Myron was seated and ordered a fresh mug of coffee to start. He then visited the men’s lounge to freshen up.

Upon returning to his table, the coffee he ordered was waiting for him and the steam dissipating was still visible. Mr. Clockwork added cream and raw sugar and had his first sip. Mmm… that’s the stuff, Myron said quietly.

The waitress came back to take Myron’s order. Myron ordered the IHOF Breakfast Mega Supreme Special – flapjacks, bacon, sausage, seasonal fruit, cinnamon roll, toast and eggs… with the third egg free upon request, which Myron, indeed, requested; and sunny side up.

As Myron anxiously awaited his morning feast he had a couple more mugs of coffee.

Myron’s breakfast was served and it was much more food than he had expected.

Myron ate judiciously. With approximately half of his meal gone and four cups of coffee consumed, Myron just felt stuffed to the gills.

Myron flagged his waitress and asked, “Can you please box this up for me?”

The waitress said she would and walked away.

Then, all the window’s shutters closed suddenly, spotlights came on and were swooshing about in the IHOF. The Final Countdown started playing and was set to a stadium volume.

What was taking place?

The IHOF bar sunk into the floor and a boxing ring arose with Myron’s leftover breakfast in one corner and his waitress in the other.

An announcer loudly introduced Myron’s breakfast as the challenger and his waitress as the defending champion. Apparently this was a belt bout too.

What the what?!

The bell rang and it was on.

Someone threw Myron’s breakfast at the waitress and she was ready. The waitress was blocking with her left, and pulled her right back strong and unleashed a deadly right uppercut. She connected with Myron’s breakfast with amazing force. Myron’s breakfast was down for the count all over the ring.

The ref counted to ten and declared a KO to the waitress… still the IHOF champion.

As Myron sat confused at his table, the waitress walked over and said, “It was a tough battle. Your breakfast fought valiantly!”

Myron asked why the waitress fought his breakfast and she said, “You asked me to box them up, and that is precisely what I did.”

Myron explained that he merely wanted her to place his remaining breakfast IN a box for him to take home.

The waitress told Myron that he should have been clearer in his request.

Myron rode home on his Hampton Cruiser thinking to himself… another day and, once again, another situation gone literally awry.

Stay tuned to Army Of Awesome People for more Literal Occurrences of Myron Clockwork.

By James Miller

© 2012 James Miller

About James Miller

James Miller is author of Basie & Paisley Children's Books, including "A Spider Lives In My Belly Button," "A Monstrous Smile," and "A Moose In The Basement."


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