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Satire

My Robot Roosevelt Predicts The Future

I would like everyone to take a moment and stop.  While you are stopped, why don’t you all collaborate and listen.   I am back, and I’ve brought a brand new invention.

It’s actually just an improvement on an invention I’ve already created.  You all probably remember my robot.  If you recall, I had named him Roosevelt after the late, great president Zachery Taylor.  Also his name was pronounceed “Rewsavelt”.  After a few misunderstandings, He had the capital “R” taken from his name and was then reduced to “oosevelt”.

I have given oosevelt the ability to predict the future, and people , it looks grim.  Apparently the population will explode.  I don’t mean that the amount of people will increase.  It turns out that everyone will actually explode.  Gross.

I have taken precautions by hiding out in oosevelt.  I am actually typing this while sitting inside of oosevelt using an old typewriter that I have connected to an external computer with a piece of yellow yarn I had left over from the wig I made for oosevelt.  I’m not even sure if this is working but hopefully you are getting some of this.

I suggest that everybody invent a robot (not named oosevelt) and make sure to hide in it.  oosevelt assures me that the picture he drew in magic marker of people exploding was an acurate portrayal of the future.  I have no reason to doubt him.  He has never betrayed me before that I can remember.

Onwards and upwards dear readers.  This may be my last trans…..

………

Sorry, I fell asleep for a second.  There is not a lot of air in this thing……mission.

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About Jason Gooley

Thank you for your interest in me. Where do I start? Well, I guess I'm made up of about the average amount of cells. Let's see...2 arms, 2 legs...Yeah that sounds like me.

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