There is no ‘off’ position on the innovation switch at Taco Bell. First, the restaurant set the fast food world on fire, by taking a regular taco, coating the shell in Doritos dust and putting it in a cardboard sleeve that makes the taco nearly impossible to eat. Now, Taco Bell has invented a new breakfast beverage with a name that is virtually impossible to say out loud, MTN Dew A.M. So did this new culinary feat hit the mark? Read our review:
Let’s begin with the concept. MTN Dew A.M. is a 50-50 blend of Mountain Dew and orange juice. At first glance, this seems like the perfect morning concoction. However, I soon learned that in reality, this beverage was only giving me half of the Vitamin C and half of the caffeine I need to get going in the morning.
You might as well have had me killed, because after drinking this, I stood no chance at facing the day.
First of all, when I got to work, someone sneezed and because I only had half of the typical Vitamin C protection, I got kind of sick. Also, because of this partial deficiency, I developed scurvy, but the case was so moderate in severity that I was rejected by pirates and non-pirates alike.
Also, I was half-asleep the entire day and ended up walking in on a bank robbery in progress. The robber was furious with me because he had to start all over again with his instructions for the hostages. Making matters worse, I had trouble concentrating while he was talking, so at the end I had a lot of questions about topics he claimed he had already covered. Things continued to go downhill when, about halfway through the robbery, I fell asleep. I think this really offended the thief because when I woke up, he tried to make me feel guilty for ‘ruining’ his first bank robbery.
In conclusion, I give Taco Bell’s new MTN Dew A.M. Drink 9 out of ten thousand stars.
See also: A Culinary Review Of Taco Bell’s Doritos Taco
Brian Croitori
Jason Gooley
Lindsay Tacia
List of X
Randy Shy
James Miller
Stickwick Stapers
Todd Daggett
Finally, I find a food critic for the restaurants I eat at. Well done, sir!!
Posted by Bird | June 6, 2012, 10:00 amI wonder if they’ve trademarked MTN Dew A.M. I mean, I see a lot of opportunity here for knockoff brands mixing 40/60, 60/40 or getting real crazy and doing 30% Mountain Dew, 30% OJ, and 30% blended breakfast sandwhich. Top the whole thing with chocolote drizzle whipped cream, and you’re going to have every fast food/ poison restaurant joint in The U.S of MickyD’s chasing after you throwing you contracts for millions…..perhaps even…………………..billions!
Posted by EzraWontShutUp | June 5, 2012, 4:07 pmYou have just painted a dark, dark, hilarious, dark portrait my friend.
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | June 5, 2012, 4:13 pmof our future I should clarify
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | June 5, 2012, 4:14 pmMountain Dew could ruin even the nectar of the gods in my opinion. That stuff is radioactive man!
Posted by becca3416 | June 5, 2012, 1:31 pmTrue. However, I’ve heard that the nectar of the gods is milk and orange juice mixed together which already sounds kind of gross.
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | June 5, 2012, 4:11 pmNow you’ve crossed the line.
Posted by becca3416 | June 5, 2012, 4:32 pmI understand for a brief period it was honey mustard
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | June 5, 2012, 5:15 pmRedemption.
Posted by becca3416 | June 5, 2012, 5:32 pmI should add the honey mustard was really Grey Poupon mixed with Mrs. Buttersworth
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | June 5, 2012, 5:54 pmThat’s syrup mustard! Mustyrup. Kind of sounds like muster up. Also known as, muster up the courage to eat/drink? that.
Posted by becca3416 | June 6, 2012, 9:08 amBeing Irish, I can’t help feeling that a beverage with a name like Mountain Dew should be fiercely alcoholic.
Posted by tranquilspace | June 5, 2012, 1:54 amI agree. Next time I order a Mountain Dew I am going to insist that it be fiercely alcoholic
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | June 5, 2012, 4:09 pmps – Dierdre I noticed you do greeting cards. I actually had a couple out a while back –
http://www.hallmarkcontests.com/page/WINNERS/sub/Gallery/Contest/OnCompanyTime/do/detail/cardID/11
Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | June 5, 2012, 5:13 pmhey, well done! Like the office notes one a lot. We sit around desperately trying to think up stuff like that cos it’s about 30% of the market, but all that comes out is more cats….:) Furballs.
Posted by tranquilspace | June 6, 2012, 9:05 am