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The Food Critic: A Culinary Review of Taco Bell’s MTN Dew A.M.

There is no ‘off’ position on the innovation switch at Taco Bell.  First, the restaurant set the fast food world on fire, by taking a regular taco, coating the shell in Doritos dust and putting it in a cardboard sleeve that makes the taco nearly impossible to eat.  Now, Taco Bell has invented a new breakfast beverage with a name that is virtually impossible to say out loud, MTN Dew A.M.  So did this new culinary feat hit the mark? Read our review:

Let’s begin with the concept. MTN Dew A.M. is a 50-50 blend of Mountain Dew and orange juice.  At first glance, this seems like the perfect morning concoction.  However, I soon learned that in reality, this beverage was only giving me half of the Vitamin C and half of the caffeine I need to get going in the morning.

You might as well have had me killed, because after drinking this, I stood no chance at facing the day.

First of all, when I got to work, someone sneezed and because I only had half of the typical Vitamin C protection, I got kind of sick.  Also, because of this partial deficiency, I developed scurvy, but the case was so moderate in severity that I was rejected by pirates and non-pirates alike.

Also, I was half-asleep the entire day and ended up walking in on a bank robbery in progress.  The robber was furious with me because he had to start all over again with his instructions for the hostages.  Making matters worse, I had trouble concentrating while he was talking, so at the end I had a lot of questions about topics he claimed he had already covered.  Things continued to go downhill when, about halfway through the robbery, I fell asleep.  I think this really offended the thief because when I woke up, he tried to make me feel guilty for ‘ruining’ his first bank robbery.

In conclusion, I give Taco Bell’s new MTN Dew A.M. Drink 9 out of ten thousand stars.

See also: A Culinary Review Of Taco Bell’s Doritos Taco

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About Tim Kochenderfer

I'm about yay-high and weigh about yay pounds

Discussion

16 thoughts on “The Food Critic: A Culinary Review of Taco Bell’s MTN Dew A.M.

  1. Finally, I find a food critic for the restaurants I eat at. Well done, sir!!

    Posted by Bird | June 6, 2012, 10:00 am
  2. I wonder if they’ve trademarked MTN Dew A.M. I mean, I see a lot of opportunity here for knockoff brands mixing 40/60, 60/40 or getting real crazy and doing 30% Mountain Dew, 30% OJ, and 30% blended breakfast sandwhich. Top the whole thing with chocolote drizzle whipped cream, and you’re going to have every fast food/ poison restaurant joint in The U.S of MickyD’s chasing after you throwing you contracts for millions…..perhaps even…………………..billions!

    Posted by EzraWontShutUp | June 5, 2012, 4:07 pm
  3. Mountain Dew could ruin even the nectar of the gods in my opinion. That stuff is radioactive man!

    Posted by becca3416 | June 5, 2012, 1:31 pm
  4. Being Irish, I can’t help feeling that a beverage with a name like Mountain Dew should be fiercely alcoholic.

    Posted by tranquilspace | June 5, 2012, 1:54 am

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  1. Pingback: A Culinary Review Of Taco Bell’s Waffle Taco | Army Of Awesome People - March 30, 2014

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