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Please Read Before Trying To Turn Your Car Into A Transformer

It probably comes as a shock to no one that I have been trying to turn my car into some workable form of a Transformer.  My first attempt at this resulted in getting the transforming part right (the sound effects and everything) but when it was finished, my car had transformed into a garden hose with a little Autobot decal on it.

I had to get to work so I tried to transform it back and it only half worked.  The only way I could get anywhere after that was if I hooked the hose up to a slip and slide and used that as my mode of transportation.  Please don’t ask for details on how this whole thing looks or works.  Let’s try not to get off topic here, please.

The next incarnation fared much better.  My car turned swiftly and smoothly into a 30 foot tall robot named Calliope (for some stupid reason).  He turned back into my car and I started to drive down the street.  That’s when Calliope transformed again, crushing me in the driver’s seat into a pulpy mass, never to be heard from again.

The next day I tried to get my vacuum cleaner to do the dishes.

About Jason Gooley

Thank you for your interest in me. Where do I start? Well, I guess I'm made up of about the average amount of cells. Let's see...2 arms, 2 legs...Yeah that sounds like me.


2 thoughts on “Please Read Before Trying To Turn Your Car Into A Transformer

  1. My first car had transformed itself into junk (Thanks to a GMC Yukon driver with a severe allergy to brake pedals). I had talked to the mechanic and he told me that he could transform the junk back into my car, but it would cost me $5000, so I said no….
    Wait, is this where you submit stories for “my first car” commercials?

    Posted by List of X | June 4, 2012, 12:53 am
    • Yep this is it. I’ve set the post up for exactly that reason. $5000 seems a little steep for something that should be able to transform at will.

      Posted by Jason Gooley | June 4, 2012, 8:22 am

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