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Satire

Spiders And Robots Living Together

Is it just me, or is everyone else constantly being swarmed by bugs?  For my regular readers, this isn’t really a new topic.  It seems that every time I try to enjoy the outdoors, I get sucker-punched by a bunch of gnats that have come together in the form of a giant boxing glove.

You will probably recognize me by my continuous clearing of my mouth, like I just finished eating a bag full of hair.  If you see me, stop by and say hi.

The old-schoolers out there will probably remember my robot, Roosevelt.  He hasn’t been bugging (pun intended) me too much lately so there hasn’t been much to tell.  Recently, I have charged Roosevelt with the task of keeping the bugs away from me.  He has become a “bug-keeper-awayer”, if you will.  He sure looks silly with all those bugs on him.

I have been keeping a watchful eye on Roosevelt lately, so there aren’t any foul ups.  I have noticed that Roosevelt may be enjoying the new found attention that he has been receiving from the bugs, especially the spiders, the most feared bug of all.

There have been many times when I have been typing away at my blog and I turn around and Roosevelt is 6 inches from my face sporting a beard of bees, a mustache of earwigs or a bathing suit of moths.

“Roosevelt!!!!”, I would scream in a high pitched voice and jump up on a chair.  It was time to show Roosevelt “who’s the boss”, if you will.  As we watched an 11 hour marathon of the popular television show, we both agreed that Tony and Angela could indeed live together in the same household without assigning anyone the moniker of “Boss”.  We could not, however, agree on how much of Mona’s sluttiness we could take.

It is time to make yet another modification to Roosevelt and knock him down a couple of pegs.  His name will no longer be capitalized.  In fact, I think I will relieve him of the “R” all together.  oosevelt will be his new name.  What do you think of that, Spider-butt?

Note:  Below is a picture I took of oosevelt with his beard of bees.

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About Jason Gooley

Thank you for your interest in me. Where do I start? Well, I guess I'm made up of about the average amount of cells. Let's see...2 arms, 2 legs...Yeah that sounds like me.

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