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Inventions That Need Inventing

If I only invent one invention in my life time, let us hope that it is a machine that produces inventions.  You just push a button, followed by a lever pull, which I am sure must produce some sort of ‘booping’ and ‘beeping’ sounds and then “blato!”, you have yourself a brand new invention.

Here’s something that someone might want to consider inventing.

This new invention will be seen by historians as the quintissential moment for mankind.  Nations will come togther into one “Super Nation” that will be called Hapablap (patent pending).  War will be a thing of the past, but not famine.  For some reason there will be loads of famine.

With no one else to fight, mankind will turn it’s giant, bloodshot, eye towards the heavens.  It will seek out new inhabitable worlds.  It will then reduce those worlds to smithereens (patent pending), using their giant eye thing, that of course can also be used as a laser.

That is, if there was some sort of way we could reduce all that cloud cover.  You can’t expect a laser to go through clouds, people!  Come on!

Oh, and also, there is a deluxe model of that invention available with automatic transmission, mirror defogger and a side car for your little buddy.

But enough about me.  What in the hell have you invented lately, punk?

About Jason Gooley

Thank you for your interest in me. Where do I start? Well, I guess I'm made up of about the average amount of cells. Let's see...2 arms, 2 legs...Yeah that sounds like me.


5 thoughts on “Inventions That Need Inventing

  1. As a college student, I wanted to create something to benefit my fellow collegiate folks, so I created a conscience numbing machine that allows for guiltless procrastination without any foreign substances needing to be ingested. It’s inserted like a pacemakeer and BAM you’re a happy C’s Get Degrees student.

    Posted by EzraWontShutUp | May 17, 2012, 12:43 pm
  2. Pressing buttons is hard work. So how about a robot to press buttons on your invention machine?

    Posted by List of X | May 17, 2012, 1:20 am

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