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Satire

Is This The First Step In A Robotic Uprising?

I think it is completely unfair when someone gets mad at a computer and then takes it out on the monitor.  A monitor, as we all know, is just a patsy.  It is manipulated by the computer like a puppet and we just sit back and laugh.

Take that, you beautiful monitor, you!

“Oh just look at how funny it is to see that monitor do whatever it’s told!”  Our glee knows no bounds.

I believe that this is the first step in a two step plan for a robot uprising.  The second step is us being used as computers by the current computers.  I can’t run HTML!  I can’t print off 20 pages per minute!  The best I can do is 2 pages per minute, and it comes out in dot-matrix.  If we don’t nip this in the bud, we could lose the delicate balance that exists between us and the the vile machines.

All I am saying is, we should side with the monitors, that’s all.  A monitor won’t stab you in the back.  A monitor will call the next day if it says it will.  Monitors are our friends.  Our slow, manipulated friends.

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About Jason Gooley

Thank you for your interest in me. Where do I start? Well, I guess I'm made up of about the average amount of cells. Let's see...2 arms, 2 legs...Yeah that sounds like me.

Discussion

4 thoughts on “Is This The First Step In A Robotic Uprising?

  1. Dear Army of Awesome People,

    I’m sorry to embarrass you publicly, but I must say: I’m unsubbing. You never were, probably never will be, funny. You try much too hard. It’s stupid. Not satire. Stupid. Sorry. Just a tip.
    Especially you, Tim.
    Jason, get out of this site while you can. They’ll suck you into a world of horrible writing. You, oblivious to that world, are a great writer. Leave quickly, Jason.
    ~Neeka

    Posted by Neeka | May 15, 2012, 9:15 pm
    • Wow. As a little girl i would often wonder if i would ever actually live to see a world so hopeless that people lost their sense of humour. You, Neeka, are a fine example of what the future holds for us.

      Posted by Meghna Yadav | May 15, 2012, 11:26 pm
    • I’ve got news for you, Neeka, I will never, ever, ever let Jason Gooley out of this site. Understand. I’m dragging him down to our world of terrible writing whether you like it or not. As for me, I’m about to get whole lot more stupider. That’s right, more stupider. -Love, Tim.

      Posted by Tim Kochenderfer | May 15, 2012, 11:58 pm
    • Neeka, while I appreciate the compliment(?), nobody talks about my master that way. While he keeps me chained up in a manner that only allows me to write holding a pencil behind my knee, I can’t thank him enough for the 2 foot x 2 foot cell I am being held in.

      Posted by Jason Gooley | May 16, 2012, 8:52 am

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