The Awesome Week In Review – 5/12

Tom Brady is facing heavy criticism for his new hair style. Fashion experts say they haven’t seen a haircut that bad since Mitt Romney was in high school.

Mitt Romney, of course, under fire for allegations that he bullied a kid at his boarding school, cutting off his hair while a group of boys held the student down.  Romney says he doesn’t remember the incident, but told a reporter “if anyone was hurt or offended by that, I apologize” and added “now if you want your microphone back, you’re going to have to hand over your lunch money.

Joe Biden is apologizing to President Obama for jumping the gun on the administration’s shift in its stance on gay marriage.  Biden told the press he regrets the incident and promised to make it up to the President next Thursday right after we bomb Iran.”

Michelle Bachmann is withdrawing her bid to become a Citizen of Switzerland.  Mrs. Bachmann had the right to dual citizenship, since her husband was a decendant of Swiss immigrants, but said she didn’t want anyone to think she wasn’t loyal to the U.S.  Many Americans say the move was a bit extreme, the Swiss government is mostly neutral on the issue.

A South Carolina man was ticketed for displaying a pair of metal replica testicles on the back of his truck.  The decoration violated the state’s obscenity laws.  The man will now have to pay a fine and find a new way to tell the world “I’m White Trash.”

That’s it for me, you’ve been great, goodnight everybody!