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Satire

Hey Bob! Am I Fired?

“Hey Bob! Am I fired?” It was the first thing out of his mouth every morning. “No your not fired, and it’s pronounced boss.” I responded every morning, rolling my eyes in frustration. He had been my best friend for ten years and still didn’t remember my name or how to pronounce boss. We had the same conversation every morning, then I would lay out the day’s tasks and we would get to work.

It was a small landscaping operation I ran while in college called The Lawn Rangers. I was the boss and I had one inept employee. We would hand out flyers to drum up business in the fall that said “Leaf It To Us”, by which I meant leaf it to me because my best friend / employee either thought he was fired or had the delusion that he was the boss and was of no use outside of making me laugh. It worked out alright for me though as he let me pay him in Red Man chewing tobacco. I supplied the jumpsuits, transportation and lawn maintenance tools. (2 rakes).

One day I thought it would be fun to let my friends imagination run wild and played along with his whole “I’m the boss” delusion. First thing in the morning I asked “Hey Bob, am I fired?”, to which he responded “Yes and it’s pronounced boss”. Not knowing what to do I packed up my things and started to leave but the boss asked for his rakes, jumpsuit and car keys back. It was a long confusing walk home that day. What had I done to get my boss so angry that he would fire me?

Never being one to give up on my dreams, I started up my own landscaping business and hired my best friend of ten years who had just been let go from some landscaping company called the Lawn Rangers.

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About Todd Daggett

Todd Daggett is a fool. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a fool as well. That or they are really smart but a very good liar. Either way you should probably take some time to get to know them to be sure and then punch them in the throat for calling Todd Daggett a fool. Nobody does that and gets away with it.

Discussion

11 thoughts on “Hey Bob! Am I Fired?

  1. Aaaaagh! It’s like David Bowie’s “Labyrinth” meets “Inception.” What a total mind bomb! Great work! X

    Posted by hilaryisaac | April 13, 2012, 1:03 am
  2. Hey, is your friend called Donald Trump by any chance?

    Posted by List of X | April 12, 2012, 5:38 pm
  3. Hilarious. I have a feeling a lot of people don’t understand you.

    Posted by Lisa Moser | April 12, 2012, 1:02 pm
  4. Love “The Lawn Rangers” and “Leaf it to Us”, catchy! Sorry for getting fired. ;-/ LOL!

    Posted by 4MyLifeFitness | April 12, 2012, 8:31 am

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