With my enemy Troy at the gates, I have decided that the best offense is a good offense. So I have decided to give him a taste of his own medicine, NyQuil.
But before I do that, I have to tell you about my latest plan. I have built a life size replica of myself completely out of driftwood. My plan is to put this Trojan Me on Troy’s doorstep the next time he goes shopping, or wherever it is a person like Troy goes. And when he comes home…well, I’m sure you know what happens next.
But if you don’t, let me explain. You might think that I would be hiding in the Trojan Me and pop out and destroy Troy after he has adorned the statue on his mantle. That was the original plan, Operation: desTroy. But, I thought it would be best to take him out one piece at a time. Starting with his back.
You see, what I have done is I have filled the statue with pieces of gold, a very heavy metal. When Troy tries to pick it up, his precious back will be in for a big surprise. And he will be stuck with this giant hunk of wood filled with gold, and……..oh shoot……..I think I have made a huge mistake.
I should have also filled it with little pointy diamonds.