Operation: DesTroy – The Next Step In My Feud With The Neighbor

With my enemy Troy at the gates, I have decided that the best offense is a good offense.  So I have decided to give him a taste of his own medicine, NyQuil.

But before I do that, I have to tell you about my latest plan.  I have built a life size replica of myself completely out of driftwood.  My plan is to put this Trojan Me on Troy’s doorstep the next time he goes shopping, or wherever it is a person like Troy goes.  And when he comes home…well, I’m sure you know what happens next.

But if you don’t, let me explain.  You might think that I would be hiding in the Trojan Me and pop out and destroy Troy after he has adorned the statue on his mantle.  That was the original plan, Operation: desTroy.  But, I thought it would be best to take him out one piece at a time.  Starting with his back.

You see, what I have done is I have filled the statue with pieces of gold, a very heavy metal.  When Troy tries to pick it up, his precious back will be in for a big surprise.  And he will be stuck with this giant hunk of wood filled with gold, and……..oh shoot……..I think I have made a huge mistake.

I should have also filled it with little pointy diamonds.

shit.