Well, it’s springtime. Which means I have been working diligently on my lawn to get it ready for the year.
A couple of days ago, I applied the first installment of fertilizer for the year. It is important to get a crabgrass preventer down early on in the season. Unfortunatly the experts don’t tell you what you should really apply to your lawn.
Instead of crabgrass preventer, I should have gone with the basic crab preventer. You see, I have a crab that lives in my yard. It’s not a particuarly big one and not really very scary. But this year the crab decided to apply grass preventer to my lawn. So now I have nothing left but dirt and criss-crossing crab tracks.
With this new development, I am sending away for extra-strength dirt preventer. This way I hope to start fresh with a yard full of whatever it is that is under dirt.
In other news, it appears that my neighbor will be extending our shared fence to keep his dog in. “Well, well, well.” I say to that. “Looks like someone has grown a pair”. “Thanks for keeping me in the loop, Troy”!
“Maybe I wanted to surprise you with the longest fence you have ever seen! One that was made out of gold and diamonds and felt! One that would not only keep your dog in, but also you and everyone else. It would be 800 feet tall with spires and balconies and cannons! It would be the envy of all the land! Kings and queens would come from afar just to be in the presence of the fence! And you would stand on top of it, and I would push you off and see how you like being blindsided by a neighbor!”
I probably won’t build that fence thing that I was talking about. I don’t really know you very well and I like to sleep in.
Now if you’ll excuse me Troy, I hear my crab just bought some Jason preventer.
Ha!! Felt. Nice choice.
Felt is the most luxurious fabric Troy knows of.
Thank you. Unfortunately, a good 85% of this story is true.
Thank you. Just promise me you’ll watch out for this guy in your travels.