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Satire

The “Do’s and Do’s” Of Rushing.

Some of you might remember back in high school when the gang would “rush” somebody.  For those of you who aren’t familiar with the tradition, it involves several gentleman zeroing in on one person (usually one of the female persuasion) and picking them up, only to set them on the floor so they were sitting with the legs sticking straight out.  The real clincher was when the gentleman would proceed to point and laugh at how ridiculous the person looked just sitting there.  Sitting there like a fool.

I did a search on rushing and this came up. Maybe I'm remembering something else.

Recently I have decided to try this gag out and see how well it has been preserved since the 90’s.  I have learned that there are two kinds of people that you do not want to “rush”.  The first one is my neighbor.  And the second one is my other neighbor.

I decided to first try it out on my neighbor, Troy.  You know, that clown?  Anyways, I started off talking to him about the weather, him on his side of the fence and I on mine.  He started talking about how cumulus clouds were way sweeter than nimbus clouds and then I took the opportunity.

I leaped over the fence as fast as I could to catch him off guard and immediately grabbed him around the waist.  What I didn’t take into consideration is that Troy out weighs me by about 30 pounds.  I just kept heaving and heaving and Troy, the polite neighbor that he is, just stared down at me.

I felt that it was best to go to the second stage of rushing and I just started pointing and laughing at him.  Well apparently Troy dosen’t like to be laughed at.  He pushed me down like a sack of potatos.  I tried to tell him that I was laughing with him, but he wasn’t having it.  There I was, lying on the ground filled with potatos looking up at Troy, Nimbus and Cumulus pointing and laughing at how ridiculus I looked.

Then I tried it on my other neighbor who is old and he had a heart attack.  I just sneaked away, laughing under my breath and pointing at him in a way where he couldn’t see what I was doing.

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About Jason Gooley

Thank you for your interest in me. Where do I start? Well, I guess I'm made up of about the average amount of cells. Let's see...2 arms, 2 legs...Yeah that sounds like me.

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