If Your Car Is Buried In The Snow, I Will Help You Find Out What Happened

Being an officer of the law, one of my jobs is to recreate accidents.  I think that I have reached the highest levels of this practice.  The other day, my wife was driving my car and went off the road just a liitle bit but enough to get the vehicle stuck.  When I arrived on the scene, I was able to surmise that she was coming from the west and made a turn to the north, hit ice on the road and pit the vehicle where it now stood.  I also determined that she had just come from getting coffee, as I could smell the fresh aroma.  By just looking at the car, I could tell where she had come from and where she was going, what time she left that day, if she was right or left handed, what her address was, what her birthday was and how many children she had.  I knew what her profession was, some of the wacky things she did in college, and what her favorite food was.  I was also able to, after a few questions, discover what color her hair and eyes were, what she would be having for dinner that evening and how many fingers she was holding up.  I also had a hunch that she was running late and didn’t have time for any of this.

So stay in school and get a job and junk.  It just might save your life.