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Satire

Little Grey Hoodie Wolf

In a secluded village of wolves – who walk on two-legs, talk and wear hoodies – one particular wolf, named Roger, was alerted that his grandmother had fallen ill. Roger contacted his grandmother via walkie-talkie to let her know he would soon be there with medicine and food for her.

“Grandmother, I’m concerned you’re sick. Over,” said Roger.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout little ‘ole me. Over,” said Roger’s grandmother.

“Now, now grandmother, I’ll be there in a jiffy. Over,” added Roger.

“That sounds lovely Roger. I look forward to seeing you soon. Over,” stated Roger’s grandmother.

“Roger that grandmother. Over,” exclaimed Roger.

“Roger Roger. Over,” said Roger’s grandmother.

Roger packed a basket with essentials to help his grandmother get on the mend including, a heating pad, Vicks vapor rub, Chamomile tea, a humidifier, bread to make toast, a jar of fresh elderberry jam and a new hoodie as well.

Along the path to Roger’s grandmother’s home in the woods he was jumped by a bully human girl who wanted to know where Roger was going and what he had in his basket.

“Where are you going little grey hoodie?” asked the human girl.

“What smells delectable in your basket?” continued the human girl.

“I’m on my way to grandmother’s house with food and supplies as she is ill,” responded Roger.

And just like that, the human girl ran off.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Who’s there?” asked grandmother.

“It’s me. Roger,” said the human girl.

Grandmother answered the door. To her surprise it was not Roger. It was a human girl who scared the crap out of grandmother. With that, grandmother ran away in terror to see a human at her door.

The human girl sneakily dressed herself to look like grandmother and climbed into grandmother’s bed to wait for Roger to arrive so that she could steal his basket of food.

Roger finally showed up to grandmother’s house.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Who is there?” asked the human girl trying to sound like grandmother.

“It’s Roger grandmother,” said Roger.

“Come in,” said the human girl, again trying to sound like grandmother.

Roger entered grandmother’s house, approached the bed, and said,

“My, what small eyes you have grandmother.”

“It must be the sickness,” said the human girl.

“My, what a short nose you have grandmother,” stated Roger.

“Oh, that. I had some work done that I hadn’t told you about,” quipped the human girl.

“My, what flat teeth you have grandmother,” added Roger.

“Ah, yes. I’ve been nervously chewing on pencils,” added the human girl.

Just then it struck Roger that this was not his grandmother. It was the human girl who jumped him in the woods, and at that same moment Roger’s grandmother burst into her home.

Cornered by two wolves the human girl did not know what to do.

Roger and his grandmother devoured the human girl, which certainly soured the girl’s plan to steal Roger’s basket of bread and elderberry jam.

“Roger, I feel better already. All I needed was some fresh meat,” stated grandmother.

Roger and his grandmother had a great laugh and shared bread, elderberry jam and Chamomile tea.

(c) 2012 J.R. Miller

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About James Miller

James Miller is author of Basie & Paisley Children's Books, including "A Spider Lives In My Belly Button," "A Monstrous Smile," and "A Moose In The Basement."

Discussion

2 thoughts on “Little Grey Hoodie Wolf

  1. Why didn’t they put the jam on the little girl? She would have been tastier.

    Posted by edrevets | March 2, 2012, 5:14 am

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