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My Leap Day Time Challenge

I’ll have to admit, the idea did sound intrigueing.  Steal 50 cars in 50 hours?  Sure, I don’t see a problem with that. But there was a problem, you see.  A very big problem.  The year was 1856 and cars hadn’t been invented yet, let alone incriments of time called ‘hours’.  I had backed myself … Continue reading

One Paragraph Essay: Confusion In The Michigan Primary Vote

They said this year’s primary election would be confusing for voters, but I didn’t realize how perplexing it would be.  First of all, when I went to vote, the polling place was locked tight.  Second, when I eventually did get in, none of the candidates I had heard of were on the ballot, all it … Continue reading

An Open Letter To Mitten Manufacturers

I have searched everywhere for a comfortable pair of mittens but always come up short on my left hand. It would seem that all mittens everywhere are made for people with five fingers so I am hoping that maybe I could special order a pair for someone like myself with special needs. You see, my … Continue reading

My Pet Monkey Ruined My Kitchen

Last night I returned home after a grueling day at work to find my kitchen had been ransacked.  There were pots and pans strewn about and everything was coated in a thick layer of flour.  I walked, dazed, into the living room to see more of the same. Everything coated in flour. I returned to … Continue reading

Untold Tall Tales of Paul Bunyan: By the Beard of Paul Bunyan

There are many stories about ole Paul Bunyan and his noble four-legged beast, Babe the Blue Ox, that have been shared by a flickering campfire for generations. We, here at the Army of Awesome People, continue to be the benefactors of many exclusive, rare and never-before-seen journals, which we are grateful to accept. Paul Bunyan’s … Continue reading

An Interview Without The Vampire

I can’t tell you how I stumbled down this road, but here I was.  I was in an old church belfry, waiting to meet with a man….. nay, beast more like it.  I was given a note a fort night ago to meet in this very spot at one past midnight.  I arrived early, as to … Continue reading

In The Winter Dark

8 more days.  That was all he had to wait and he would certainly be rescued….right? In the last couple of weeks, the temperatures had slowly dropped below 10 degrees, 5 degrees, and now below 0.  He had only a weeks worth of rations to start with.  It’s amazing how frugal a person can become … Continue reading

My Kids Make Me Say The Darndest Things

I have said some pretty crazy things in my lifetime, but none as crazy as the things that come out of my mouth when parenting. Below is a sample of things that I have said to my children that I never could have imagined a possible scenario where saying such things would have been necessary. … Continue reading

10 Pick Up Lines That Could Lead To Disaster

1.) “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together” – Anybody can rearrange the alphabet.  It’s called spelling words.  If you say this, she will think you lack basic language and problem solving skills.  2.) “Are you lost? Because Heaven is a long way from here.” – You say this to … Continue reading

Houston, we have a relatively significant problem

As the astronaut walked along the tarmac towards the rocket, he took a moment to reflect on his mission.  It was set to be the single most important event in the history of mankind.  If he were to fail, the ramifications were to horrifying to contemplate. The astronaut was picked from a pool of millions … Continue reading

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